a batch of scratch, catch, and cumberbatch

three short jokes that all feature the letters "-atch"!

dear friends,

i’m grateful that you’re here.
thank you for so being and receiving of this bounty!
and now, for some very silly thoughts!

A) starting from scratch:

"you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours?"
"sir, you'll need to pay full price for this massage, in advance now"

B) catcher in the wry:

“you still don't eat?”
-- an old friend catching up, checking to…