a very iris christmas (my grandmother weighs in on some holiday jokes of mine)

holiday tales from the iris archives

dear friends, family, fellow folks,

i’m grateful that you’re here.
thank you for making it all the way here! great work!
and now, for a few holiday-ish jokes and my grandma iris’s responses to them!

A) it’s raining deer!:

"on hussy! on strumpet! on floozy! on harlot!
on jezebel, concubine, trollop, and tartlet!"

-- santa, if all the reindeer were named like "vixen" weirdly is

PS when i originally shared this one on social media, my grandmother responded, “Much better names than the commercial ones.”

B) an idea i shared one christmas that can be a gift we give all year round:

a nice thing to do is put extra rolls of toilet paper in every possible place a guest might check for them so they will be relieved to find one immediately no matter what.

PS when i originally shared this one on social media, my grandmother responded, “I can relate to this, as the guest.”

C) how wonderful is it?:

“it’s the most wonderful time of the year!”‬
‪“who says”‬
‪“well, have you seen the rest of the year?”‬
‪“fair”‬

PS when i originally shared this one on social media, my grandmother responded, “If you wake up in the morning it is a wonderful time of the year!”

and

those are the funs for the day!
for future funs, i headline the Comedy Club of Kansas City on 1/13-1/14 (2023!)
come on out! or if you’re already there, come on in!

thank you again for your presence here and everywhere that you are.
much love to you and yours and all!
happy all-the-days!

PS one final bit of fun for today.
i took the below photo when i saw this out in the world and thought…
”IT’S A SIGN!”