A WOLVERINE STATE OF MIND! my birthday is this week & as a gift, i'd love for you to come to my standup shows this weekend in michigan (the wolverine state) PLUS here are some wolverine jokes for all!

please note that when i do my shows in michigan, i will not only be doing jokes about the x-man character wolverine. but that IS basically what i am doing here in this newsletter today.

dear friends, family, fans, fellow folks, friends again, friends forever,

first, i have another substack newsletter called “happy new month” where on the first of each month, i wish everyone a happy new month. this month, in addition to that, i shared this post about ways to help in the wake of hurricane helene, which i recommend checking out. additionally, if you are in the path of hurricane milton, i hope you get out of that path. please be as safe as you can be and take care of yourselves and one another.

and now, for our regularly scheduled silliness.

i am grateful that you are here!
thank you for choosing to be here or ending up here by accident!
and now, because i am scheduled to perform three shows this weekend in michigan (the wolverine state), here are a few wolverine-related funs!

A) is for Armed and dangerous:

wolverine the x-man can regenerate a missing arm with his healing factor
but wolverines the animals can't.
in conclusion, his code name should actually be "starfish."

i’ve been reading marvel comics since i was a kid, and this is something that i’ve thought about for a long time.

i can understand why they decided to go with the code name “wolverine” instead of “starfish.” i mean, if the character were called “starfish,” they’d probably expect him to mostly be hanging out around the ocean, and wolverine is mainly a land-based dude. in fact, i think that drowning is probably one of the only things that his healing factor CAN’T heal against.

okay, i’m convinced. “wolverine” is a better name for him than “starfish.”
glad we resolved this.

B) is for Bub(bie):

"enjoy your snck time"

-- my grandmother wishing me
EITHER a nice small meal with a typo
OR to enjoy the new wolverine movie with a different typo

this is another one i’ve been thinking about for a long time.

to fully enjoy it, let’s start by defining some terms:

”bub” is a term of affection wolverine uses
”bubbie” is a yiddish word meaning “grandmother”
”bub(bie)” is a fun combination of “bub” and “bubbie”
”snikt!” is the sound that wolverine’s clauses make when they come out
”snck” is either a misspelling of “snikt” or “snack”

okay, now that we have defined our terms, i’m going to express with the most confidence possible that my grandmother was wishing me an enjoyable SNACK time and not an enjoyable SNIKT time, because my guess is that she may have never heard of wolverine NOR the sound that his claws make when they come out, but she definitely had heard of SNACKS.

so, we have resolved this one as well! two for two!

C) is for Comic books:

if christmas is the same as xmas
then why isn't there a comic book called
the uncanny christ-men?

this is something that i have NOT been thinking about for a long time.

this is something i have only thought about briefly as a joke, because there are many reasons i can imagine why they haven’t put out a comic book called “the uncanny christ-men.” i mean, if they did, maybe there could be a market for it.

but the truth is, you can’t just substitute “christ” for “x” in ANY situation.
for example…

tic tac toe is not played with christs and o’s.
adult movies are not triple-christ-rated movies.
you can’t generate medical images of a body’s insides with a christ-ray machine.
it’s not “christ marks the spot.” (or maybe that one is, for some.)

okay, this one is still unresolved!

and those are most of the wolverine funs from me today! how about from you?
some questions!

1) how are you doing? how are you feeling? what is new and good?
2) any thoughts about wolverine, or michigan, or the uncanny christ-men?
3) do you have a favorite comic book character? or literary/movie character?
4) any stories about grandmothers or typos that you’d like to share?
5) how are you doing NOW?

and now, here are links for the shows i’ve got coming up in michigan:
— Paw Paw, MI on October 11
— Tecumseh, MI on October 12
— Holland, MI on October 13

followed by A NEW DATE IN TENNESSEE:
— Lebanon, TN on October 16

and the following weekend in denver:
— Denver, CO on October 18-20
(i will be doing a few shorter sets at the Denver Comedy Lounge on friday and saturday, and then opening for my friend shane mauss’s comedy special taping shows at meow wolf on sunday!)

and in november:
— Wilmington, DE on November 2
— Baltimore, MD on November 3
these are shows that the amazing EMO PHILIPS is headlining and i am grateful to be appearing as a special guest of an opening act. the shows will be me for about 20 minutes and then him for considerably longer!

and also december, including a makeup date for columbus, ohio!:
— Goodnights in Raleigh, NC on December 6-7 (link coming soon)
— The Cellar Door in Frederick, MD on December 9 (link coming soon)
— The Attic in Columbus, OH on December 19
— Helium in Indianapolis, IN on December 20-21 (link coming soon!)

and that’s all for right now!
finally, one last wolverine-related fun: this poster that my dear artist friend McKinley Cox created of me (as photographed by my dear photographer friend Mindy Tucker) as wolverine!