avocados, cookies, and holding your body completely still (three jokes, and more!)

thanks for reading this subtitle. you are nice!

dear friends,

i’m glad that you’re here.
thank you for so being!
and now, some jokes!

A) a is for avocado:

maybe if millennials didn’t buy an avocado toast every single day, then they could afford to purchase a house in 1955 like everyone else.

B) b is for your body:

okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?

C) c is for cookie (that’s good enough everyone i hope):

i call websites that aggressively store too much of your data "cookie monsters."

and that’s it for now!
tonight i’m in ft lauderdale!
tomorrow night i’m in savannah!
next week i’m headlining a festival in albuquerque!
ticket links for those and more should all be at my website!

and finally, check out this beautiful savannah poster courtesy of the wonderful mckinley cox and mindy tucker on the art and photography, respectively!
thanks for being here! much love to you and yours and all!