it's easy to love your loved ones (that's why they're called that), but have you tried loving those who AREN'T your loved ones?

the infinity affinity (some thoughts on Birthdays. And. More. BAM!)

dear friends,

thank you for being here!
i am super grateful for your presence.
as you may know, i often use this space to share short jokes, poems, and other quick fun words units.

and SOMETIMES, i use it to share slightly longer pieces i’ve written, often in response to questions other folks have asked me, like this question a friend asked me two years ago on the occasion of my birthday (which was earlier this month).


HE SAID:

myq i am so curious how you feel about birthdays how you deal with them
happy birthday!

I WROTE BACK:

Thank you for asking this question!

The way I feel about birthdays is similar to the way I feel about a lot of holidays. And that feeling has changed over the years.

Example: Valentine's Day. I used think things like "why have only ONE day in the year that is dedicated to celebrating love specifically in your relationship in this way? Isn't it best to celebrate your love EVERY day?"

My answer to the second question now is a resounding Yes.

My answer to the first question now is something like "Past Me, you are being a bit disingenuous." It needn't be "celebrate only one day" OR "celebrate every day possible." It can be both. Celebrate this day, and celebrate every day.

(All that said, Valentine's Day is not a day that Rini and I have particular affinities for celebrating, but if there are people who love celebrating their love on that day, or any day, we're on board. Love away, all!)

Another example: New Year's. I used to think things like "why wait to make a resolution to change your life at this arbitrary planetary-based time? If you know you want to better yourself in some way several weeks earlier or in the middle of April, wouldn't it be best to do it then?"

My answer again is Yes. Of course.

And also now I understand that it needn't be an either/or proposition.

Perhaps more foolish than the idea that one Should make a change at the start of the year is the idea that one specifically Shouldn't, out of an appeal to ... logic? "You fool! Don't you see you're being exploited by Big Calendar? Think for yourself, sheeple!" (Spoken by a person who didn't come up with the word "sheeple," just blindly following in the path of people who have called people sheeple previously.)

I don't have a particular affinity for celebrating NYE in a particular way (other than tweeting things like "just learned that Bill Nye is short for Bill New Year's Eve!"), and also, I'm a big fan of not begrudging anyone who Does want to celebrate in a particular way. As long as you're not harming anyone, love away, all!

Which brings me to birthdays. Your question.