jokes and thoughts about robots, plants, grief, time, love, boomerangs, and more!
so, kind of... everything! welcome!
dear friends,
thank you!
i’m grateful that you’re here.
today, before i get into some jokes and thoughts, i want to let you know that i have a standup comedy album out this week FULL of jokes and thoughts that you may not have heard yet!
it’s called “live in between albums” and it was previously only available while listening to satellite radio, but now you can download, stream, purchase, share, listen at your convenience and leisure however you take in comedy albums! (for example, that link and this one will take you to a page where you can choose to go to spotify, apple music, or bandcamp! and be sure to check out the wonderful ramin nazer’s cover art down below!)
and now, for your regular dose of silly written jokes and thoughts here!
A) a seemingly confusing discovery that i have made:
if you love something, set it free.
also if something doesn't spark joy, set it free.
so, whether you like it or don't, get rid of it.
now, it makes a lot of sense to get rid of things that don’t bring us joy.
but what about the things that we love? well, hopefully we haven’t imprisoned them in the first place. hopefully all of our loves ARE free. and then they will be free to choose whether they want to spend their their lives with us. for example, i have a boomerang i love and i set it free all the time. it just can’t quit me. (PS i don’t actually have a boomerang. but i do have a lot of people in my life who i love, people who are free to do as they choose and i’m supremely grateful for anyone who chooses to spend any amount of their lifetime with me. like you. i’m very grateful that you are making this choice RIGHT NOW. twist ending: YOU were the boomerang this whole time!)
B) BYOBotany! (not just ANY bot could write this botany bit):
"i'm thinking about getting into studying plants"
"botany?"
"not yet, so far i'm just thinking about it"
this one is a very silly joke and i thank you for remaining planted here for it, when you are of course (as discussed earlier) free to roam wherever you wish, like a boomerang that has decided not to return (which i think would be a fun pixar movie). also, here are some sincerity seeds beneath the silliness: it is TRUE that i do think about plants a lot! i’m very grateful to them, for helping earthlings like me live, what with providing oxygen to breathe and fruits and nuts and legumes and vegetables to eat. and i’m grateful for all the botanists and scientists and explorers who have studied plants to help us know to let poison ivy and venus fly traps do their own things, for example. i also think it’s funny that “bot” is a syllable both in “robot” and “botany.” we’re not so different, any of us. is it a coincidence that “WALL-E” anagrams to “ALL WE”? (probably! but also here’s another pixar movie idea: a plant and a robot become friends.)
C) chrono-illogical:
when i first learned that the Kübler-Ross 5 stages of grieving didn't necessarily have to occur in order, i accepted it.
THEN, i got angry.
that last part isn’t true. (or is this just the denial stage? i hope this isn’t making you depressed. can i bargain with you to talk you out of it? okay, all five stages covered.) the truth is that when i first learned about the five stages of grieving, i thought they were ordered. that’s the way i thought i liked my universe, ordered. but sometimes this whole system seems out of order and i’m like “hey, this isn’t what i ordered.” and i want to talk to the manager, but i realize the manager (of my own experience) is me. so i talk to myself. and i listen to others. and i learn things like, sometimes things happen out of order, and THAT is the natural order of things. and i’m like, phew. back to acceptance.
and that’s all the jokes/thoughts for today!
thank you for planting yourself here, accepting them, and flying free!
before we go, here are a few questions for you:
1) how are you? what is new and good?
2) what is something you love? who is someone you love?
3) do you have any thoughts about plants you’d like to share?
4) is there anything that has helped bring order to your experience?
5) how are you NOW?
thank you for receiving!
finally, here are some places i’ll be doing standup in the near to near-ish future!
Tonight and Tomorrow headlining Governor’s in Levittown, NY!
April 1 with the Ivy League of Comedy in Randolph, VT!
April 7-8 headlining Off Cabot in Beverly, MA!
May 19-20 headlining Hip to Be Square in Knoxville, TN!
June 17, ImPerfect at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles! ←just announced! in advance of my return to the edinburgh fringe fest in august! more dates soon!
PS bonus art from the wonderful mckinley cox featuring a delightful mindy tucker photo of me as always! hope to see you somewhere soon!
