Mitch Hedberg, Ta-Nehisi Coates, and the Ghost I Want to Be

Haunt 'em if you got 'em!

Dear friends,

I’m grateful that you’re here. Happy NOW year.

I had an idea two years ago for a writing project that I might embark upon last year and then I didn't. Then today, I started reading the book "The Message" by Ta-nehisi Coates, and the first chapter blew me away as his writing so often does. It included this line, with respect to the writing/art/music he took in as a child and beyond:

"All I cared about was what haunted me and why"

and this one, when he later in life realized he was capable of not only taking in but creating:

"maybe I could go from the haunted to the ghost, from reader to writer…"

His writing has haunted me into becoming the ghost I have wanted to be, and so this project begins.

One of my favorite comedians is Mitch Hedberg. I learned about him when I was a teenager and loved him as I grew into adulthood. His jokes are songs, infinitely relistenable. Whereas so much comedy requires surprise to have its desired effect, Hedberg's has somehow transcended that. Maybe it's his voice. Maybe his attitude. Maybe his everything. A Hedberg joke, on its face, is often about something ordinary. A banana. A receipt for a donut. Escalators. But that is not all they are about.

I am reminded of this passage from "What Is Zen?" by Alan Watts:

“Here's an example: someone says, 'Master, please hand me the knife,' and he hands them the knife, blade first. 'Please give me the other end,' he says. And the master replies, 'What would you do with the other end?' This is answering an everyday matter in terms of the metaphysical.

"When the question is, 'Master, what is the fundamental principle of Buddhism?' Then he replies, 'There is enough breeze in this fan to keep me cool.' That is answering the metaphysical in terms of the everyday, and that is, more or less, the principle zen works on. The mundane and the sacred are one and the same.”

Mitch Hedberg is essentially a comedic zen master. In his standup, the mundane and the sacred are one and the same. The everyday and the metaphysical are intertwined.

Here's an example, a joke of his that has pleasantly haunted me for decades:

"I like to drink red wine. This girl says 'Doesn't red wine give you a headache?' 'Yeah, eventually! But the first and the middle part are amazing.' I'm not gonna stop doing something 'cause of what's gonna happen at the end. 'Mitch, you want an apple?' 'No, eventually it'll be a core.'"

It's perfect. First, as a joke. It makes me laugh. The joke logic is strong. And also, the LOGIC logic is strong. That is true about apples, and why wouldn't it apply to wine as well?

Furthermore, is this not applicable to life itself?

The joke could continue (and does, for me), "‘Mitch, do you want to experience LIFE?’ No, eventually it’ll end in death."

I don't know if he was thinking that. I don't know if he would say it. But the joke says it, to me. And it is the truth. Mitch LIVED. The first and the middle parts were amazing. And his life ended in death. A life that is/was unquestionably worth it. Just like an apple. (I bet that a Mitch Hedberg a day could keep doctors away pretty good as well.)

Additionally, there is a sense in which his life did NOT end in death. Because he is still here with us, in his beautiful zen koans of jokes which ripple through the universe eternally, haunting me so that I can haunt you so that you can haunt others if you like. (Haunt if you want, I always say! Starting now.)

And so, this project LIVES.
Thank you, Ta-nehisi Coates and Mitch Hedberg.
And thank YOU for receiving.

Historically, I have shared at least three jokes of mine in these dispatches as well, and in case you're here only because you love reading at least three jokes of mine, here are three jokes of mine, about apples and wine and haunting

A) is for Apple:

sometimes i like thinking about the buddhist concept of impermanence as it applies to EVERYTHING except for this one piece of apple peel that seems to be stuck in my teeth forever so for any buddhists out there, is this apple peel piece possibly the exception that proves the rule?

B) is for a Bit about wine:

what kind of wine did jesus turn water into?
well, he rosé from the dead.

C) is for Comedy about ghosts:

do you know how a prehistoric ghosts found food?
they haunted and gathered.

Something else I do here is post my upcoming standup shows, so if you’re like “enough with the comedy and writing, when can I see you do comedy you’ve written,” then look no further! Or look slightly further, because here we go:

— Don’t Tell Comedy in Delaware (this Friday 7pm & 9pm & Saturday 7pm & 9pm)
— QED Astoria in Queens, NY (7pm on Tuesday, January 14)
— Jukebox Comedy in Peoria, IL (Friday, January 17 - Saturday, January 18)
— The Lincoln Lodge in Chicago, IL (a fundraiser on Thursday, January 30)
— The Kallet Theater in Pulaski, NY (Friday, February 21)

You can always find info about my shows at punchup.live/myqkaplan and myqkaplan.com/tour!

Finally, I also like asking YOU questions. If you’d like to respond by commenting or emailing me back, I’m always happy to hear from you!

1) How are you doing? What is new and good? How are you feeling?
2) Any art or writing or music that has haunted you lately or ever?
3) Have YOU been a ghost creating haunting works? What are they?
4) Do you like apples? What kind? I like Honeycrisps!
5) How are you doing NOW?

FINALLY finally, here is a beautiful poster my friend McKinley Cox created from a wonderful Mindy Tucker photo of me PLUS Foreigner’s “Jukebox Hero” to celebrate my shows at Jukebox Comedy next weekend! Thank you for receiving all of this and being here. Much love to you and yours and all!