monsters, scientists, and reality television (three jokes in advance of valentine's day)

i love jokes! here are some jokes and some love!

dear friends, fans, family, folks,

i’m grateful that you’re here.
in fact, i LOVE that you’re here.
in fact, it’s always true that i love that you’re here.

i’m saying it right now because this is my weekly dispatch that’s coming out in advance of next week’s valentine’s day, and so i wanted to share some love-related content. if you hate valentine’s day, great! today’s not valentine’s day! happy TODAY! and if you love valentine’s day, great! it’s coming up! happy NOW AND HAPPY SOON! and if you both love and hate valentine’s day, have i got the schrodinger’s cat joke for YOU! everyone is taken care of!

and now, please enjoy this day’s sillinesses!

A) first comes love:

on the reality show “love is blind,” people find out if they can fall in love without knowing what the person looks like.

there should be an audio-only version of the show, so we can find out if we’d love the show without being able to see it.

here’s the fun origin story of this bit: my girlfriend rini and i love watching “love is blind.” when there are new episodes, we want to take them in IMMEDIATELY. last year, the final episode of a season came out on a day that we were waking up in florida and driving all the way back to NYC, a very full day of driving that didn’t allow for us to watch the final episode before we left. rini really wanted to watch it and asked if we could watch it in the car. i obviously wouldn’t be able to WATCH it under those circumstances, because i am a very responsible driver. (rini doesn’t drive yet. so she’s a responsible passenger.) we discussed it for a little while and i ultimately agreed that it would be fun for me to listen while she watched. which is when i realized that that’s the perfect way to take in a show about whether you can fall in love with only audio and no visuals. it helped me (in a meta way) love the show more. PS if you’ve never seen the show, perfect!

B) then comes dining:

"if you could dine with any scientist, alive or dead, which one would it be?"
"schrodinger"

the origin story of THIS bit is that i think a lot about schrodinger’s cat, the cat that is both alive and dead at the same time, according to quantum physics that i completely understand and also don’t understand at all. (the answer is of course that because a cat has NINE lives, while a cat is living any of its second through ninth lives, it is alive in that life and dead in all previous ones. quantum physics solved!)

C) then comes the final joke on valentining:

valentine is actually just the name of the doctor who created the day.
the thing everyone is really scared of is Valentine's MONSTER.

the origin story of this final bit is that, while i love love and i love celebrating love, i also think that valentine’s day can put monstrous expectations on a lot of couples and also can make single people feel monstrously alone, so i want to offer this additional monster-related v-day advice to anyone who wants it: on the show “buffy the vampire slayer,” in a world where demons and monsters exist and terrorize humans on a daily basis, part of the lore is that on halloween, the day most dedicated to scary monsters in the human world, the demons actually take that day off from scaring people. like, it’s too commercial for them, all the humans playing monster tourist for a day and such. and so, maybe that can be a way forward for loving couples who feel pressure to make this one day the biggest best love-filled day in the world: take this valentine’s day off! celebrate love every OTHER day of the year. (also feel free to celebrate this day if you want. i’m not your love boss. of course, if you can, love yourself and your loved ones every day, however you want. you’re your own love-boss!)

and that’s all the pre-valentine fun for the day!
i hope you prevail in time!

PS if you DO want to celebrate on valentine’s day, i’m doing some shows on that day, and if you want to celebrate on other days, i’m doing some shows on other days also (and here are some of those upcoming options):

Tuesday, Feb 14 in Brooklyn, NY (early and late shows)
Friday, Feb 17 in Boston, MA
Friday, March 3 in Maynard, MA
Saturday, April 1 in Randolph, VT

thank you for receiving all of this!
much love to you and yours and all!
and finally, some questions that you can answer if you’d like to:

1) how are you? what’s new and good? what do you love doing?
2) who is a person that you love, admire, have loved, or think is cool?
3) what art has moved? a book you love? a movie? a song?
4) what question would you love to be asked? and what’s the answer?
5) do you have any questions for me? i would love to receive.

thank you again!

PS for a final love-related treat, here’s a fun interaction i had with a married couple who came to one of my comedy shows recently! hope you enjoy!