my birthday and floodwaters approach! the truth and also jokes!

my birthday is in one week! floodwaters are one day ago!

dear friends, family, fans, folks,

i’m so grateful you’re here.
thank you for being here and receiving this!
and now for a very funny (in a certain context) thing:

i began last week’s free newsletter something like this:
”and now for a slightly shorter than usual message because my girlfriend and i just moved into a new apartment yesterday and we have some things to do…"

TODAY, i’ll say this:
and now for a slightly shorter than usual message because the apartment my girlfriend and i just moved into FLOODED YESTERDAY. we are safe and doing fine and here’s the text of post i shared about it on IG with some additional context:

thank you for receiving! and now, here are three silly jokes about WATER:

A) is for A movie idea i have:

i have an idea for a movie like Speed except instead of a bus staying above 50 mph so it doesn't explode it's about a guy who has to drink 50 mL of water every day or else he dies a little sooner than he would have also he has to urinate a lot or he explodes i call it "Peed"

i love the movie Speed and i love movies that are like the movie Speed. a lot of people looked down on Speed when it came out, saying it was just “Die Hard on a bus” and even if that were so, dayenu. (it would have been enough.) but it WASN’T just Die Hard on a bus. it was Die Hard on a bus plus this new specific plot device that spawned a genre of new “if this doesn’t keep happening, then something else will happen” beautiful action movies.

PS bonus fun: Beautiful Action Movies = “BAM!”
(one of the sounds you might hear in a Beautiful Action Movie)

B) is for Believe it or not:

the original mountain dew was water.

(the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that mountain dew was not dew on a mountain.)

C) is for a Concept i shared online in the spring of 2020:

last night i felt emotionally overwhelmed and didn't know why.
my girlfriend asked me how much water i'd had during the day.
very little.
i drank some and it helped.
today i've drunk a lot and it feels different and good.
water. it helps.
HAS ANYONE ELSE HEARD ABOUT THIS?

(this was about two months into the pandemic, a time when there was a LOT of emotional overwhelm for a LOT of people of course, but the reason this situation here was noteworthy for me was that the seemingly objective facts of my experience hadn’t changed that dramatically from a time that i’d been feeling generally fine to the extreme experience i came to, an emotional overwhelm that all but disappeared upon the drinking of water. water, it is magic! i am a convert spreading the gospel of water! H₂O.M.G! (that looks like i’ve added magnesium to water but i haven’t. if i had, the G would be lowercase. this is a portmanteau of water and OMG. a portmantEAU.M.G.! whoa, bonus: in french, “EAU” IS PRONOUNCED “OH” AND MEANS WATER! THE MAGIC CONTINUES!)

and that’s all from me or now! now how about from YOU! (questions!)

1) how are you doing? is your home safe and dry?
2) do you like Speed? what is your favorite Speed-like movie?
3) how do you feel about drinking water?
4) do you know where the perfect apartment for us is?
5) how are you doing NOW?

10/5-10/7 (my actual birthday!): Ann Arbor, MI
10/12 (a different day in my birthmonth!): Johnson City, NY
10/14 (my birthday show in NYC!): Brooklyn, NY
11/11: (not birth-related but a fun date!): Putnam, CT

finally, here’s the photo i shared in that IG post above, which is a text exchange between ANOTHER dear friend who reached out to express care and support:

much love and thanks for all your support and apartment leads!
you’re the best!