Show Me The Movie!

here are some jokes and thoughts and other things about movies and life and other things! thanks for being here! please enjoy!

dear friends, family, fans, folks, fellow funners,

i’m grateful that you’re here.
thank you for being here and being you!
and now, here are some movie-related funs!

A) A is for @ Me:

a movie like “Speed”
but instead of a bus having to stay over 55 mph,
a social media star has to keep gaining 55 followers per some time unit
(i call it “@ Me.” or “Viral.” or “Relevance.” or something else. do i have to come up with ALL the ideas for my idea?)

i love the movie “Speed.”

i also love that it spawned a subgenre of movies where something has to keep happening or else something else happens, like in “Crank” where jason statham has to keep his adrenaline at a certain level or he dies, and probably other movies also. or maybe just those? how many movies do you have to have for there to be a “genre”? does two count?

also, i just realized that LIFE is like this genre. LIFE: where you have to eat and drink and breathe and move your body every so often or it stops working! it may not explode, but other than that, our bodies are just like that bus.

PS the movie “Speed 2: Cruise Control” came out in 1997 and i just realized that the name is clever because the plot is about a villain trying to highjack a ship, i.e. to CONTROL a CRUISE. if they ever make a “Speed 3,” i’ll be ready.

B) B is for Big:

sequel idea!
(hear me out)
the BIG mermaid!

or how about “the mermaid who has much more interesting characteristics going on in her life aside from her size, like for instance i don’t know THAT SHE’S A MERMAID!”

sincerely, i hope the new little mermaid movie does great and that people love it. also, for the people complaining about how the actor playing the little mermaid doesn’t look like the original cartoon, i hope their complaints continue to drive traffic and clicks and awareness to the people who might not even have realized that there IS a new little mermaid out now that they could enjoy, and i hope that leads to the movie doing even better and more people loving it even more. the little MORE-maid? (no.) just offering a little merm-AID? (maybe.) when life gives you merm… (i’ll stop.)

PS there are people who complain about sequels and remakes for all kinds of reasons, and also there are people who say things like “there have only been four stories ever,” and sometimes it’s nice to see or hear a familiar story told in a new way. that’s also how life is sometimes. every day of our life is a sequel to the one before. or a remake. or both. coming soon… TODAY 2: TOMORROW!

C) C is for CGI:

CGI = pics AND it didn't happen

as you may know, the phrase “pics OR it didn’t happen” is something people might say to someone who’s bragging about something that might not be true. however, with CGI and the rise of potential deep fakes, now a picture might still be worth a thousand words, but those words might be fiction! look out! of course, i suppose it’s always been so that pictures haven’t been 100% reliable, because optical illusions aren’t a new thing, for example. so what are we to do? i guess do our best to be honest and trust people who also seem to be honest? thanks for doing your best and receiving these words. no pics, but it IS happening!

and those are all (or MOST) of the movie-related funs for the day!
PS bonus movie-related fun: i went on a super fun podcast called Maximum Film this week. we discussed the movie Fast X (and much much more!). enjoy!

and now, some questions for you:

1) how are you doing? what’s new and good?
2) do you know of any other movies in the Speed/Crank genre?
3) any ideas for what else i could call my movie in my first joke above?
4) what are some fun dumb action movies you love? or any movies?
5) how are you doing NOW?

before we go, here are some places you can see me do comedy LIVE soon:
— June 1: ImPerfect at Union Hall in Brooklyn, NY!
— June 9: Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. in Chico, CA!
— June 10: Greater Purpose Brewing Company in Santa Cruz, CA
— June 17: ImPerfect at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles, CA!
— June 21: Barrel Proof Lounge in Santa Rosa, CA!
— June 24-25: Alameda Comedy Club in Alameda, CA!
— July 6-8: Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse in Arlington, VA!
— July 12-15: Acme Comedy Co. in Minneapolis, MN!
— August 2-28: ImPerfect at the Edinburgh Fringe Fest in Scotland!

finally, here’s ONE pic to remind you that my new Dry Bar special DID happen (it just came out last week!) and IS STILL HAPPENING as forever as possible! and here’s how you can watch “Live from the Universe”… just click the link and use promo code “MYQKAPLAN” (which is currently only available to use on their website and for a monthly subscription) and you’ll get one month free!

thank you for receiving!
i appreciate that you are here!
all the best to you and yours and all!