the ABCs: All Best Comedy (a celebration of my dear friend Liz Glazer's standup AND a reminder that my new comedy special films in NYC on August 22 and I hope you can make it! PLUS jokes and more fun)
with a title so big, do we even need a subtitle?
dear friends, family, fans, fellow folks,
thank you for being here!
i’m grateful that you are here!
welcome to some jokes and thoughts and other things.
today’s message is a special edition of Arty Har-Hars celebrating the fact that my dear friend Liz Glazer has a new 8.5-minute Don’t Tell Comedy set of standup that you can watch right now! or whenever forever! and now (part of forever), the celebration of liz continues!
A) is for All of the time (and also Animals, and also And, and also Also):
it’s like a lot of animals are just doing silent MEDITATIONS all the time
i am a fan of meditation.
i mean, i don’t know if “fan” is the right word.
i don’t go to see meditation in concert all that often.
(though, i have been to a few sound baths, and they are full of bangers!)
whether musical or otherwise, meditation often helps bring me back to the place that i am, to my breath, to my body, to my whatever is happening right now.
and it seems like animals get to experience something like this always!
man, i wish i were an animal.
wait. i am an animal! humans are animals! did a genie just grant my wish?
then i also wish for happiness and the end of suffering for all sentient beings!
did it work? meditation over? and over?
B) is for the Best jokes:
word economy is important in comedy.
eliminate everything extra and your humor will SHINE.
so, the best jokes are ones that you don't even tell.
sometimes people say you have to read between the lines.
just imagine all the jokes in there. between. and beyond the lines.
look at that. i just coined a new phrase: read BEYOND the lines!
also, i invite you to read the lines if you want to read the lines.
that’s a good place to start. the lines.
then eventually, you can transcend the lines.
you can write your own lines!
i’m inspiring myself!
i’m so inspired i don’t know what to say next!
line?
C) is for Coolness (and Clothing! but not AND anymore)!:
an article of clothing that,
by name alone, sounds like it would be much cooler than it is,
is the BLAZER.
hot joke coming through!
and i know, saying that a “blazer” should be “cool” could be contradictory.
like a yin-yang. did anyone get enlightened by the paradox?
have i written a new zen koan?
ooh, is “have i written a new zen koan?” a new zen koan that i have written?
have i written TWO new zen koans? or ZERO? or some other number?
what’s the sound of zero zen koans being written?
now, how does all of that celebrate my dear friend liz glazer?
well, here’s how i decided which jokes to share, working backwards:
MEDITATIONS. SHINE. BLAZER.
those are words i highlighted in each of the jokes i shared.
each represents a different word:
HERE. GLITZ. ABLAZE.
HERE. representative of how liz’s comedy is so in the moment, meditative.
GLITZ. an extravagant display, how liz’s comedy is so shiny and special.
ABLAZE. on fire, like liz’s comedy.
also, HERE + GLITZ + ABLAZE = all the letters that spell ELIZABETH GLAZER
bonus: All of the time + Best jokes + Coolness = ELIZABETH GLAZER ALSO!
(not with the letters though, just the concepts)
and those are the jokes/thoughts for today! unless YOU have jokes/thoughts?
some questions to prompt you to see if you do:
1) how are you doing? what is new and good with you? how is your heart?
2) do you meditate? how do you feel about meditation?
3) are there any animals that you love? do you want to prove it with pictures?
4) what are your favorite jokes that have few words? (no answer? perfect!)
5) how are you doing NOW?
and that’s about it for now! but wait, there’s more!
here are some upcoming shows i have, including my new special filming in NYC!
— Cambridge, MA on August 14 (NO LONGER AUG 7! NOW WITH MORE AUG 14!)
— Mahomet, IL on August 17
— Cleveland, OH on August 18
— NEW YORK CITY ON AUGUST 22!
TWO SHOWS! 6:30pm and 8:30pm
MY NEW SPECIAL TAPING! HOPE YOU CAN MAKE IT! TELL EVERYONE!
— Columbus, OH on September 11
— Cincinnati, OH on September 12
— Naples, FL on September 19
— Boca Raton, FL on September 20-21
— St Pete Beach, FL on September 22
— Paw Paw, MI on October 11
and more to come!
thank you for being here and receiving all of this!
you are the best!
finally, here is more information about my special taping in VISUAL form!
thanks to mindy tucker and ramin nazer for the beautiful photo and art!
and thank you again for all things! much love to you and yours and all!
