the great rosary heist! (or "something of value in this post")

part 1 of a potentially unlimited new series wherein i go back through my old jokes and share some thoughts about them! i hope you enjoy!

dear friends,

i’m grateful that you’re here.
thank you for being here AND (not only that but also) for being you!
and now, for the beginning of a new project that i’m happy for you to be a part of!

i have a document on my computer that i call “all jokes.”
i created this file sometime close to when i began my comedy “career” more than twenty years ago, back when my “career” was still in quotes. or it’s possible i started the file after that. it’s impossible to say unless i try to find out exactly, which i haven’t done, because i have more important things to do, i think.

this document has some version of (nearly) all the jokes i’ve ever written over the past two decades AND it also has in it all the things that i thought could have been jokes but never made it to the fully grown joke-i-perform-regularly-and-eventually-record-and-release stage. the document has over 600,000 words in it. that’s a lot of words. i won’t be sharing all of those words here, at least not right now.

i have ANOTHER document on my computer that i call “all jokes (filtered)” which contains NOT all the jokes i’ve ever written, but SOME of them. recently, i started going back through the “all jokes” file from the beginning, to see if any nascent ideas might like to become less nascent with some additional thought and work. i thought it might also be fun to share some of my thought process along the way, throughout this discovery process.

and so, here is the first installment of “myq shares his unfiltered or possibly partially filtered thoughts on All Jokes (Unfiltered)”!

here is our first joke/idea that will be the subject of this process:

Saw a sign in a car in nyc that said “nothing of value in car”
so I broke in and stole it
(and maybe left a sign that said “you’re right”)

ok, so here are some thoughts and funny things ABOUT this joke: