the (jo)king of Queens!

rini and i just moved into a new apartment in queens and boy are our arms tired from carrying things and such

dear friends, family, fans, folks,

i’m grateful that you’re here.
thank you for being here where you are!
and now, for a slightly shorter than usual message because my girlfriend and i just moved into a new Queens apartment yesterday and we have some things to do involving making the home a nice home to write future substack newsletters from (among other things)! shorter, but full of the same quality you’ve come to expect! good things come in small packages full of jokes about queens.

A) is for Advice (like keep this newsletter short, we’ve got things to do!):

"thank you for writing in to my newspaper advice column. i advise you to be a dancing queen" -- Dear Abba

a thing that is true about me is that i LOVE the genre of advice column. maybe it’s because i like telling people what to do so much that i even like it when OTHER people tell people what to do. ESPECIALLY when they ask for it. that’s my favorite. it’s taken me a long time to learn to take the advice of “don’t give people advice unless they ask for it, and even then maybe not.” this is all to say, do YOU need or want any advice? feel free to ask me for it!

B) is for Buying tickets (or things for our apartment, heading out momentarily!):

QUEEN: "scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?" SCARAMOUCHE: "sure, i'll get the movie tickets for us in advance"

is Fandango still a relevant way to purchase movie tickets? i’ve only been to about three movies in theaters in the past three years and there’s no time to do research! do you still watch movies in theaters? how do you get your tickets?

C) is for Cars, tangentially (vroom vroom, gotta get going!):

"that's M as in Michael, and then YQ as in Yas Queen" -- me spelling out my name as part of my email address for a rental car reservation

this is just fun that i believe needs no further commentary. do YOU want to offer any further commentary on it? just because it doesn’t NEED it, doesn’t mean it won’t benefit from it!

and that’s all the queen jokes from me! now, for some questions for YOU:

1) how are you doing? what is new and good with you? how is your heart?
2) DO you want any advice from me?
3) IS Fandango still a relevant way to purchase movie tickets?
4) DO you want to offer any further commentary?
5) how are you doing NOW?

and that’s all for today! here are some show i have coming up:

10/5-10/7 (my actual birthday!): Ann Arbor, MI
10/14 (my birthday show in NYC!): Brooklyn, NY
11/11: (not my birthday but a fun date!): Putnam, CT

and more to come! but not for now! got to make an apartment a home!
thank you for receiving, everyone! you’re the best!
much love to you and yours and all!