two jerry maguire jokes and one shakespeare one
like "two truths and a lie," see if you can spot which ones are which
dear friends, family, fans, fellow folks, and flummoxed foes,
i am glad that you are here.
thank you for so being. how are you?
last week i tested positive for covid and now i feel as healthy as can be.
thank you for all the kind words and thoughts and feelings of support throughout the week and always. and now, for a few silly jokes!
A) you HAD me at hello:
"you deplete me"
-- jerry maguire getting divorced
B) an intermission from jerry maguire jokes:
"sonnet boom!"
-- shakespeare playing streetfighter 2
C) you had me at good-bye:
“you convict me”
— JURY Maguire
and those are the sillies of the day!
before i say good-bye for now, here are some potential places you could say hello in the future, at shows i’ll be doing on near future dates:
Fri, May 6: I headline the Renwick Mansion in Davenport, IA!
Thu, May 12: I headline Collective Pour in Champaign, IL!
Thu, May 26: Liz Glazer and I perform in Altoona, PA!
Fri, June 10: I headline New Frontier in Tacoma, WA!
Sun, June 12: I headline Helium in Portland, OR!
Fri-Sat, Jun 17-18: I headline the Comedy Fort in Ft. Collins, CO!
Sun, Jun 19: I headline Boulder Comedy Show in Boulder, CO!
Fri, July 8: I headline Rushtix ONLINE!
Sat, July 9: I perform on Ivy Standup at the Warner Theatre in Torrington, CT
thanks and love to you and yours and all, all!