Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Jokes!

plus some meaningful thoughts on top of the jokes!

dear friends, family, fans, fellow fun and/or fun-adjacent folks,

i am grateful that you’re here!
thank you for being here and for being you!
and now, here are three fun things about spider-man, followed by some information about upcoming shows i have in florida, massachusetts, michigan, and more!

A) is for Anagrams:

i like coming up with anagrams for "spider-man."
PS I'm a nerd.

just to be clear, “PS I’m a nerd” is an anagram for “spider-man.”
here are some other potentially relevant ones that may be a bit of a stretch
(but spider-man is very stretchy!):

AMPS IN RED: he really amps himself up in that mostly red outfit!!!
PAINED MRS: his wife is often worried when he’s in danger!!?
MAD SNIPER: people trying to shoot him get angry because they miss!??
DREAM SPIN: he’s a web-spinner with webs he dreamed up and made???
RIPS ADMEN: because there are so many unauthorized t-shirts and other merchandise out there with his likeness on them, i’m sure spider-man often rips those admen a new one, or many new ones!!!!

B) is for Basically what he does:

sometimes spider-man will stop a criminal, tie them up with webs, and leave them outside the police station with basically a post-it note saying “this guy did a crime” and i have to say, i don’t know how well that would hold up in court

it’s almost as if it’s fiction and the rules of law from our real world don’t apply!
though when i shared this online, some folks pointed out that peter parker often sets up a camera to take photos of the crimes he’s stopping, so maybe he also submits that as evidence along with the tied-up criminals?

C) is for a beautiful Conversation that a silly question of mine started online?

was peter parker funny and quippy like he is when fighting as spider-man BEFORE he got his powers also, or did he get some kind of enhanced spider-sense of humor?

ARE SPIDERS VERY FUNNY NATURALLY?

so, i posted this online to various social media platforms, and on Threads, it’s been seen by thousands by people and ANSWERED BY HUNDREDS (click here and read the comments for these hundreds more takes, if you wish!), a few of which i’ll share here, grouped by category!

SINCERE OFFERINGS BASED ON SOUND PSYCHOLOGICAL THEORIES:

”No that’s just always been his way of coping because of him losing his parents and uncle Ben. At least that’s why I think he’s always quippy”

”He makes jokes because he's afraid. It's not the powers, it's the mask. With the mask he's not a nobody. With the mask he can be anybody, and he can be seen and heard.”

”The mask was the original internet. It allowed him the anonymity to say whatever without facing consequences.”

”Mask goes on sass comes OUT”

SINCERE AND FUN OFFERINGS BASED ON THE MYTHOLOGY OF SPIDERS:

”Yes, famously Anansi, the spider god of West Africa, was a trickster with a sense of humour.”

”A spider's comic timing to appear exactly when you are least able to deal with the situation is legendary.”

”Spiders develop a sense of humour as a defense mechanism from so many people recoiling and screaming at the sight of them.”

”Yes, all those legs lets them do wicked rimshots”

MAYBE MY FAVORITE RESPONSE:

”Y'all are thinking way too hard about something that was just an excuse to say ‘spider-sense of humor’.”

DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE RESPONSE:

”He developed his knack for snappy comebacks after the spider bit him. Because with great power must come great response ability.”

and those are the silly spider-man funs for the day!
unless you have anything to share! on spider-man or other!
questions for you:

1) how are you? how is your heart? what is new and good with you?
2) what is your relationship to spider-man? read the comics? see the movies?
3) what is your relationship to spiders? think they’re cute? other?
4) any additional thoughts you’d like to add to the above discourse?
5) how are you feeling NOW?

feel free to respond to this as an email or comment below!

shows i’ve got coming up this weekend in florida!:

— Naples, FL on September 19
— Boca Raton, FL on September 20-21
— Wilton Manors, FL on September 22
— St Pete Beach, FL on September 22

shows i’ve got coming up in massachusetts and new jersey shortly thereafter!:

— Cambridge, MA on September 26

this is the triumphant return of the Comedy Studio, the club where i started more than 20 years ago. its existence has been on hiatus for the past little bit, but it’s returning and i’m returning and happily so! that link is for the early show.
here’s one for the late show!

— Newton, NJ on September 27
— Jersey City, NJ on September 28

shows i’ve got coming up in michigan and denver in october:

— Paw Paw, MI on October 11
— Tecumseh, MI on October 12
— Holland, MI on October 13

these shows are in michigan! are you in michigan? come to these shows!
also, these shows are right after my birthday! want to celebrate my birthday with me? come to these shows! or any shows!

— Denver, CO on October 18-20

i will be doing a few shorter sets at the Denver Comedy Lounge on friday and saturday, and then opening for my friend shane mauss’s comedy special taping shows at meow wolf on sunday!

and in november:

— Wilmington, DE on November 2
— Baltimore, MD on November 3

these are shows that the amazing EMO PHILIPS is headlining and i am grateful to be appearing as a special guest of an opening act. the shows will be me for about 20 minutes and then him for considerably longer! he is a legend and if you are in the area of these shows, i think you will enjoy them a lot. (if you’re not in the area, it will be harder for you to enjoy them. not impossible but harder!)

— Goodnights in Raleigh, NC on December 6-7 (link coming soon)
— The Attic in Columbus, OH on December 19
— Helium in Indianapolis, IN on December 20-21 (link coming soon!)

i’ll have dates for two those ones missing links soon, but in the meantime, if you’re in ohio i hope you can make it out to columbus on december 19!

and finally, here are a few pieces of art and photography that i think you will enjoy. first, a poster that my fantastic artist friend mckinley cox made out of a photo that the wonderful mindy tucker took of me:

next, SOME MORE SPIDER-RELATED CONTENT, SURPRISE! this is a photo of my mother and me at my bar mitzvah in 1991 which was SUPERHERO THEMED, and the shirts we gave out (which i am modeling here) said “i had a super time!” with a (probably unauthorized) drawing of spider-man! (get ready for some admen rips!)

and finally, because i went on a livestream show once and talked about the above spider-man “i had a SUPER time!” shirt, here is a piece of artwork created by tiny elevator that fixed that incongruity (the incongruity being that if it said “i had a SUPER time,” why wasn’t the image of SUPERman?)! and they also updated my age to the present!

love it! that’s all for today!
thank you so much for being here!
much love to you and yours and all!