a festival of light-hearted jokes
chappy chanukah, amen(orah)!
dear celebrators of this festival of lights and/or celebrators of other things, 1
welcome to now.
i am glad you are here.
here is one joke for each of these spellings of this holiday’s name.
A) hanukah:
a phone lasting all day on 1% battery
is a modern-day reboot
of the Hanukah story.
B) chanukah:
i have an idea
for
a remake of Sixteen Candles
called
Two Chanukahs.
C) hanukkah:
Die Hard is a Hanukkah movie.
and those are the funs of the day 2
PLUS
one bonus heads up in the spirit of capitalism 3:
physical copies of my album “AKA”
are 25% off now at Blonde Medicine and Bandcamp,
if you use the code “HAPPYALLTHEDAYS”
it makes the previously $12 album cost $9!
nice christmas numbers if you like: $12/25% off!
just in time for belated black friday and chanukah and all the days.
perfect for stocking stuffers if your feet are shaped like CDs! 4
(available for the next couple weeks!)
also, some upcoming shows real quick:
indianapolis on 12/17-18
des moines on 12/22 (just added!)
batavia, il on 12/30-1/1/22!
thank you so much for being here!
happy all the days, everyone!
PPS finally, this is an adorable tortoise eating strawberries that i met at a chanukah celebration a few years back. another chanukah miracle!
and/or non-celebrators. i celebrate you and/or non-celebrate you as well.
maybe in the spirit of the season, this one day’s funs will last 8 days!
I AM PART OF IT!
or if you KNOW anyone whose feet are.