'Bot to the Bone

jokes about robots for you to engage with via your robot of choice

dear friends, humans, robots, animals, cyborgs, people, androids, and/or more,

how are you?
i’m glad that you are here. thank you for being.
now, some robot-related funs for the day!

A) you say tomato, i say two mottos:

"be prepared" -- boy scouts
"beep, repaired" -- ‘bot scouts ¹

B) CAPTCHA my heart:

ROBOT: "to prove you're a human, type these random letters and numbers"
HUMAN: "i can't see them clearly, what if i get them wrong?"
ROBOT: "in order to prove you are a fallible, flawed human and not a machine, you must see them and reproduce them perfectly!!!!!” ²

C) AI Love You:

to any robots out there
trying to learn what love is,
the correct answer is
"baby don't hurt me." ³

and
those are the funs for today!
now
for some very near future funs (THIS WEEKEND!)

1) TOMORROW! friday (7/8), i headline a streaming comedy show online via Rushtix! with a Q&A after! attend online from anywhere!

2) THE NEXT DAY! saturday (7/9), i am a part of the Ivy League of Comedy in torrington, CT! attend in person from anywhere (but you do have to come to torrington, CT!)

3) MORE IN THE FUTURE! in ma, nc, vt, and more to come, all available at myqkaplan.com!

and that’s just about all for now AND later!
in conclusion, please enjoy this “Mount Rushtix” artwork below that my wonderful artist friend McKinley Cox made out of my wonderful photographer friend Mindy Tucker’s photography of me!

take care, friends!
thanks to you and thanks to the robots who make this newsletter possible!
love to you and yours and all!

1. when i originally posted this,
i wrote “robot scouts” instead of “‘bot scouts”
and someone asked me
why didn’t you say “‘bot scouts”
and that is a great question
the answer to which, ironically, is/was
I AM HUMAN

2. i wonder if in the future, robots will get so good at these tasks that to prove we’re human we’ll HAVE to make mistakes.

3. baby do Heart me