happy anniversary to me and rini!

we'll start with silly jokes, end with a nice photo of rini & me being happy, and in between... some other stuff!. do you like happiness? jokes? stuff? then this is the something for you! thanks all!

dear folks,¹

welcome to today.
welcome to july.²
welcome to this.

today’s funs:

1) silly quote³:

"i sell homemade flags on the internet" -- etsy ross⁴

2) silly note:

i would like
for elon musk
to marry bill gates
so that his name
could become
“elongates”⁵

3) silly totally:

”do you love abbreviated answers and bags, and if so, what kind of bags?”
”totes”

thank you for funning along!

AND NOW, some extra funs (upcoming shows, live + streamed):

1) tonight, 7/1 at 7pm: What’d I Miss?
live in NYC at Caveat AND ALSO live-streamed (tickets here).

2) tonight, 7/1 at 8pm: Boyz in the Woods
live in BK at Friends and Lovers (tickets here)

3) tomorrow, 7/2 at 8pm: Belly Laugh
live in BK at Dekalb Stage (tickets here)

4) tomorrow, 7/2 at 8pm also: Comedy at the Bee Cafe
live in Queens at the Bee Cafe (tickets here)

5) tomorrow 7/2 at 9pm: QED Presents
live in Queens at QED (tickets here)

6) saturday, 7/3 at 7:30pm:
Myq Kaplan: Perfecting "imPERFECT" (A Reincarnated Hour of Standup)
live in BK at Union hall (tickets here)

7) sunday, 7/4 at 11:30pm:
live in NYC at the Comedy Cellar on MacDougal (tickets here)

AND

8) last week i shared a bunch of upcoming dates including cincinnati on july 15 which at the time did not have a ticket link but now does (click anywhere here)! and for non-cincinnati dates, check myqkaplan.com (and if i’m not performing near you yet, ask your local venue to bring me and hopefully i’ll be there soon!)

PS before we conclude, here is a non-me⁶ related item:
today is my dear friend Zach Sherwin’s birthday.
birthdays aren’t necessarily “important,” but Zach is (to me) IMPORTANT.
and so today, here, i celebrate Zach, and encourage you to as well.
one great way to do that is to check out the Crossword Show. it has some online presence, but the main way to take it in is LIVE, which will be possible again soon. for now, enjoy what you can! it’s a symphonic masterpiece of comedy, music, trivia, crosswords, patterns of the universe, and more. i love Zach and i love the Crossword Show. enjoy all things possible, all!

AND NOW

in conclusion
(thanks for making it all this way, you’re great!)
this past weekend, my wonderful girlfriend rini and i celebrated 5 years together
and so now, i share this photo that the wonderful mindy tucker took of us being happy while we were at our friends’ wedding a few weeks earlier (so we still look approximately the same)
i love you rini. here’s to infinity more years.

thank you for being here. i wish you the happiest, most fulfilling july and also all the months that aren’t july. love to you and yours. take care, and hope to see you somewhere from a stage or a screen or otherwise soon!

1. and non-folks

2. has everyone made their mid-year resolutions? i have resolved to start making mid-year resolutions. it’s going pretty well, i think!

3. “i don’t eat tin cans” — a silly quote by a billy goat
(the only reason this footnote exists is because i noted the possible rhyme of “silly quote” and “billy goat”)

4. “i sell homemade jokes on the internet” — me

5. this Would elongate his name by one letter.

also

i would also like
to know
if elon’s supporters
call themselves
“musketeers”
and if not
why not

6. i mean, it’s related to my friend and my friend is related to me, but i think you get it. and i think you would have gotten it without this footnote. and yet, here we are! getting it even more.