dear friends, family, fans, fellow funners,
how are you?
i appreciate you. thank you for being here.
and now, let’s get into the job-related sillies for the day.
A) achilles at a job interview:
"what's your greatest strength"
"my whole body minus my heel"
"and your greatest weakness"
"i'd rather not say"
B) business as unusual:
"Whole Foods is going to put me out of business!
I won't be able to feed my family!
They will all starve, suffer, and die!
But I do trust God's plan."
-- Trader Job's
C) classic me:
oh man i just realized
i’ve been dancing for the job i want
and dressing like no one’s watching
and those are all the job funs for the day!
good JOB to you for reading them!
bonus: here are some comedy jobs i’ll be doing soon 1:
TONIGHT!: I headline the Renwick Mansion in Davenport, IA!
Wed, May 11: I headline Laughs at Vivo in Overland Park, KS!
Thu, May 12: I headline Collective Pour in Champaign, IL!
Thu, May 26: Liz Glazer and I perform in Altoona, PA!
Fri, June 10: I headline New Frontier in Tacoma, WA!
Sat, June 11: I headline the SJCC in Mercer Island, WA! 2
Sun, June 12: I headline Helium in Portland, OR!
Thu, June 16: I headline Denver Comedy Underground in Denver, CO!
Fri-Sat, Jun 17-18: I headline the Comedy Fort in Ft. Collins, CO!
Sun, Jun 19: I headline Boulder Comedy Show in Boulder, CO!
Fri, July 8: I headline Rushtix ONLINE!
Sat, July 9: I perform on Ivy Standup at the Warner Theatre in Torrington, CT
PS before we sign off for today, here is an offer to all Free Subscribers, inspired by recent Supreme Court news 3:
If you make a donation of at least $50 to any organization working to defend reproductive rights, I will add you to the Paid Subscriber list for one full year for free. Which means you’ll get several more messages full of jokes and fun units every month.
So make your donation and forward your receipt to myqkaplan@gmail.com. Feel free to pick literally any pro-choice charity, but if you want to keep it simple:
National Network of Abortion Funds
thanks all! you’re the best. i’m glad you’re here. take care of yourself and others, as possible!
if you are reading all of this, i thank you! it’s a big job! and i’m glad you’re up to it!
this link is making its debut here today. welcome, new link!
inspired by my friend Christian Finnegan, who made this offer to HIS substack subscribers, which i also recommend!