Mitch Hedberg, Ducks, and the Attention Economy

Also featuring Ursula K. Le Guin and the Dalai Lama.

Dear friends,

I am grateful that you are here!
Thank you for making the choice to be here.
And now, another entry in my project wherein I share jokes that I love, and explore what profundities might lie beneath (as well as upon) the surface.

The project began with a piece about one Mitch Hedberg joke, where I assessed Hedberg thusly:

”His jokes are songs, infinitely relistenable. Whereas so much comedy requires surprise to have its desired effect, Hedberg's has somehow transcended that.”

I now revisit another of his gems. I hope you enjoy!

”I find that a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.”
— Mitch Hedberg

That's silly.

It’s fun and silly to think about "a duck's opinion."

The joke starts silly.

But then it quickly arrives at an ending that makes logical sense AND says something not only about ducks but also people.

Certainly, there are people who act like the ducks in this joke.
Fair weather friends.
Bread-haver friends?

Like, if you have bread, I like you.
If you don't have bread, I don't like you.
What have you breaded for me lately?

There’s a book by Ursula K. Le Guin that I love, "Always Coming Home," which is about a society whose idea of wealth is basically this: the wealthiest people are those who GIVE the most rather than those who HAVE the most.

A quote from the book:

“Owning is owing, having is hoarding.”
— Ursula K. Le Guin in "Always Coming Home"

Now, back to our world of people and ducks…

Is it true that our opinions of others are influenced by what they offer us? Perhaps!

Is it this simple: how someone feels about me only pertains to what I offer them?
Be it bread, money (which we sometimes refer to as “bread” or “dough”), or other?
Perhaps it depends on what “other” refers to.

What about when we offer people our time? Our attention?
Those are valuable resources in the modern attention economy.
Attention is literally (?) the currency of the attention economy.
Metaphorically at least.

Dollars are the currency of the Money Economy.
(AKA the "economy").

Listening is the currency of the Attention Economy.
(We do refer to "PAYING attention.”)

Bread is the currency of the Duck Economy.
(Quack quack.)

Now, this all makes sense for most beings that aren't divinely enlightened Buddha masters. For them, I truly don't know if their opinion of others is influenced by things like dollars or bread or attention.

My understanding is that there are boddhisattvas who have had certain realizations on the path towards Buddha-hood and who take actions towards their goal of ending suffering and increasing happiness for all sentient beings, and that these folks love EVERYONE in the world the same way that a loving mother loves their child.

The kind of mother who doesn't say "You never call, you never write," unless in the context of "You never call, you never write, and my love is infinite for you regardless" but they probably wouldn't even bring it up then.

I don't know where the Dalai Lama is along his path, but I've heard and shared this quote of his before:

"I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend.
This gives me a genuine feeling of happiness."
— Dalai Lama

What a process.
It feels good to see an old friend.
It feels good to imagine sometimes.
So I can see it feeling good to imagine that someone is an old friend.

(Also among Buddhists, there is a belief in rebirths that have been happening since beginningless time, such that every sentient being HAS been our friend in another lifetime, so maybe the Dalai Lama doesn't even have to IMAGINE that everyone is an old friend. Imagine that!)

Maybe the Ducky Lama (?) doesn't care whether you have bread or not.

Another thing I heard once, in a “check out this life hack” kind of context, is that if you want to get someone to like you, you might THINK the thing to do is do them a favor, but really, they will like you more if THEY do a favor for YOU.

My understanding is that, by virtue of them doing you this favor, they end up having a thought like "I must like them, because why would I do a favor for someone I didn't like?" which is similar to the idea that a way to make ourselves feel better is to smile. When we smile with our face, our brain is like “oh we’re smiling? must be happy” or something like that!

And in the Ursula K. Le Guin of it all (wealth equates to GIVING), this logically connects, because when someone is doing you a favor, giving something to you (their time, their attention, their care), THEY are actually becoming wealthier in the economy that matters most.

The Economy of Kindness.

Also, I think that Hedberg was so cool, ducks would probably like him even if he WASN'T giving them bread.

And now, because I also like sharing my own jokes, here are some of my own jokes!

A) is for A joke about a Star Trek-themed bakery:

A fun thing to say at a Star Trek-themed bakery could be “Beam me up, biscotti”!

B) is for Bread:

It’s weird that you don’t get French toast by toasting French bread.

C) is for Cookie (I’ve heard):

When Homer Simpson wants cookies but finds them uncooked (uncookies?), he probably says "DOUGH!"

That’s about all from me. But what about from YOU?
Some questions you can answer in the comments or by emailing back or by telling me when you see me next or by thinking about it real hard maybe:

1) How are you doing? What’s new and good? How have you been?
2) Any thoughts on ducks or bread?
3) Have you read Ursula K. Le Guin? Any favorites?
4) Any other tricks you know that help you or others feel good?
5) How are you feeling NOW?

And that’s just about it for now. But what about later?
Here are some stand-up gigs I’ve got coming up!

— Bennington, VT: Bennington Theater (Saturday, June 7)
— Portsmouth, NH: The Music Hall (Thursday, June 12)
— Cambridge, MA: The Comedy Studio (2 Shows, Saturday, June 14)
— McKinney, TX: The Comedy Arena (Fri-Sat, July 18-19)
— Houston, TX: The Secret Group (Sunday, July 20)
— Austin, TX: Cap City Comedy Club (Wed-Thurs, July 23-July 24)
— Tyler, TX: Rose City Comedy (Fri-Sat, July 25-26)
— Wilmington, DE: Arden Gild Hall (Saturday, October 18)
— more dates to come at punchup.live/myqkaplan and myqkaplan.com/tour

Thank you for receiving!
Much love to you and yours and all, ducks and humans and all sentient beings!