myq and the 3 goldilocks jokes

so, the 9 bears?

dear human (and possibly non-human) friends¹

1) the initial goldilocks pitch meeting²:

"five bears?"
"too many"
"one bear?"
"not enough"
"ok, i got it... goldilocks and the THREE bears"
"just right"

2) my true feelings about the story:

why is goldilocks the hero? she's a criminal.³

3) and finally, one of my favorite jokes i’ve ever written:

goldilocks made …