On Doing and Being! With Mitch Hedberg, Annie Dillard, Dan Savage, and James Clear

What are you?

Sep 25, 2025

Dear friends,

I am grateful that you are here!
Thank you for doing all the things that led to you being here!
And now for another edition of my project wherein I share jokes from comedians that I love and the often far-ranging implications of those jokes and that love!

The project began with a piece about one Mitch Hedberg joke, where I assessed Hedberg thusly:

”His jokes are songs, infinitely relistenable. Whereas so much comedy requires surprise to have its desired effect, Hedberg’s has somehow transcended that.”

I now revisit another delightful Hedberg bit.
I hope you enjoy!

“I’m an ice sculptor.
Last night I made a cube.”
— Mitch Hedberg

This joke is great.
Short and sweet.
And inspiring.

Now, Mitch Hedberg was a professional comedian.
He wasn’t an ice sculptor.
Professionally.

But we are many things, all of us.
And we are not just our job.

That is, I believe that Mitch Hedberg truly did sculpt a cube out of ice.
Which may not make him a professional sculptor.
But if a sculptor is “one who sculpts,” then he is one!

One can perform stand-up comedy without being a professional comedian.
One can go out dancing without being a professional dancer.
One can ride a bike without being “a cyclist.”

One of the first questions many ask in our society is “what do you DO?”
And the way many answer is “I AM a...” and then they fill in the blank.

It’s interesting, isn’t it?
We ask “What do you DO?”
We answer “I AM a [this].”

Of course, in some ways, what we do is who we are.

You may have heard this beautiful and relevant idea:

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing.”
―Annie Dillard, The Writing Life

What is it that we are other than how we spend our life, what we do?

Also, complicating matters, who we are is always changing.
For example… right now, I’m a 46-year-old.
In two weeks, I’ll likely be a 47-year-old.

Also, it’s kind of arbitrary that we just change the age once a year, because our age is changing constantly. But if someone asked us how old we were and we had to do math down to the millisecond, by the time we answered, it would have changed again. That’s probably why at some point people just say “I’m in my 40s.” Then they don’t have to think about it for another decade.

The point is, while Hedberg wasn’t a professional ice sculptor, I do believe that he could sculpt an ice cube, if he started with a larger piece of ice. Sure, it might not be the fanciest ice sculpture. But an ice cube is more of an ice sculpture than almost anything in the world. Certainly more than anything that’s not made of ice.

Imagine if, instead of asking audience members “What do you do,” we comedians asked “What ARE you?”

That question might jar loose some new ideas.

What am I?
A human.
A friend.
A love.
A comedian.
An American.
A Jewish person.
A guy who likes Buddhism.
A reader.
A writer.
A ‘rithmeticker.
A son.
A cat-lover.
A vegan.
A musician.
A great many more things.

What do I do?
I love.
I create.
I walk.
I drink tea.
I meditate.
I read.
I write.
I play music.
I do comedy.
I do a great many more things.

Some of these things that I AM match up with some of these things that I DO.
But some… don’t as much?
I meditate but don’t usually refer to myself as “a meditater.”
I walk but don’t usually refer to myself as “a walker.”
I call myself a vegan but don’t refer to the action verb of “veganizing.”

One of my favorite advice columnists, Dan Savage, sometimes talks about identity like this, as concerns sexual orientation:

“I’ve described sexual identity as a cake with three layers... The first layer is who you wanna do (desire), the second layer is who you’re actually doing (behavior), and the third layer is what you tell people you’re doing/who you are (identity). The more neatly aligned your layers, the less messy your cake.”
— Dan Savage

In some respects, who we are is who we are, regardless of what we do or say.
Then there’s who we think we are, and who we tell people we are.
And also, all of these things can be shifting constantly, to some degree.

In his book “Atomic Habits,” James Clear talks about starting and maintaining new habits, doing new things, taking on new identities. He offers that if we want to be someone who exercises every day, we could start by doing one pushup today and one pushup tomorrow. Then we ARE someone who exercises every day. And maybe one day we’ll even do TWO pushups.

The same is true if we want to become a writer. What is a writer? Someone who writes. What does a writer do? Writes. So, if you write one sentence today, you have written. Write another one tomorrow, and you’ve done it again. Lo and behold, you are a writer!

A wonderful quote from him on the subject:

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”
— James Clear.

Who are we?
Who do we want to be?
What do we want to do?
What DO we do, or what can we do, that brings us joy, meaning, purpose, fulfillment?

For me, it’s comedy and music and love and friendship and writing and so much more.

For Mitch Hedberg, it’s comedy and tiny ice sculptures, perhaps.

What is it for you?

And now, because I like sharing jokes that I’ve written, here are some jokes that I’ve written! All about ice, ish.

A) is for A silly question about Mitch:

Is it possible that Hedberg is short for “HEAD of iceBERG lettuce”?
Probably not.

B) is for Becoming:

”Water, what do you want to be when you grow up?
The ocean? A human? A stream? An ice cube?”
— Water’s parents

C) is for Cream of ice!:

How about a vegan ice cream store called “Häagen-DAZSN’T”?

And that’s about it from ME.
But what about from YOU?
Here are some questions!
You can answer them if you wish!
In the comments, as an email, in your diary, in your mind, anywhere!

1) How are you doing? What is new and good? How is your heart?
2) What are you?
3) What do you love doing?
4) Any further thoughts on doings, beings, non-doings, or non-beings?
5) How are you doing NOW? (Or how are you BEING now?)

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