peels of laughter!

three short silly joke stories PLUS a surprising amount of deep philosophical examination of concepts arising from discussions of peels of apples, bananas, and all kinds really

dear friends, family, fans, fellow folks,

thank you for being here.
i am grateful for your choosing to spend part of your life this way.
and now, for some silly jokes and thoughts.

A) is for A short story with a twist ending:

i once typed the word "unpeel" and a red line appeared underneath it.
a red line usually appears when i’ve spelled something incorrectly.
was i spelling the word “unpeel” wrong?
how? it's such simple word.
i stared at it.
i stared at it some more.
and then i understood.
the word i was looking for was "peel."
"peel" means "unpeel."
(and that is the ending, with a twist.)

i used to want the english language to be logical, you know?
for spelling to be consistent.
for letters to have only one pronunciation.
for “inflammable” to mean the opposite of “flammable.”
or at least for there to be a word like “unflammable.”
or even “un-FLAME-able.” why the double “m”?

but then i learned that this is not how life works.
language does not behave in just the way i’d like it to.
people might look at me oddly if i say “unpeel” and “un-FLAME-able” regularly.
but also, people sometimes look at me oddly now.
so, i’ll say what i want!
let’s all unpeel back the layers of society’s programming, live the way we think best, and together we’ll be un-FLAME-able!

B) is for Bananas:

imagine if you slipped on a banana peel
but then instead of falling you did a perfect back flip.
pretty fun to imagine, right? no?
well, what are YOU imagining that's so great?
(i’m listening!)

i bet you are imagining great things.
what’s something that you imagined once that you think is great?
how many times have you imagined something? a lot, right?
can you even imagine how many times you’ve imagined things?

C) is for the buddhist Concept of impermanence:

sometimes i like thinking about the buddhist concept of impermanence which, as i understand it, applies to nearly (?) everything in our lives.

except perhaps for this piece of apple peel that seems to be stuck in my teeth forever.

so for any buddhists out there, is that like the exception that proves the rule?

now, i know (and perhaps you know as well) that “the exception that PROVES the rule” actually comes from a different meaning of “proves” that is something more like “the exception that PROBES the rule,” which makes a lot more sense. an exception doesn’t prove a rule to be true, but an exception CAN probe a rule to see if it is in fact true!

let’s get that started again as well, if you don’t mind. while we’re unpeeling the layers of societal programming and becoming un-FLAME-able together, let’s start probing rules instead of proving them.

And that’s it for the silly funs from ME for today. Now how about from YOU?

Questions:

1) how are you? how are you doing? how are you feeling? what’s new and good?
2) what IS something great that you’ve imagined recently or ever?
3) any thoughts on the buddhist concept of impermanence?
4) strong feelings on using “peel” vs “unpeel” to mean the same thing?
5) how are you doing NOW?

but that’s not all! i mean, it’s almost all!
but if you want a lot more of me, here are some standup comedy dates i’ve got coming up, starting TOMORROW!

— Arlington, VA on September 7 (THIS IS THE ONE THAT IS TOMORROW)
this date was just added recently so i hope you found out about it!

— Queens, NY on September 8
this date was ALSO added recently. it’s a rare NYC show where i’ll be doing an hour (or more). most sets in the city are short. this one is long! and since i just filmed a special, i’ll be workshopping a bunch of new ideas. come on out to QED in astoria, these shows are always a lot of fun.

— Columbus, OH on September 11
— Cincinnati, OH on September 12
these two ohio dates are scheduled for this coming wednesday and thursday BUT right now the number of tickets sold is lower than desired and as such the shows might not happen this week. i would love for them to happen and if YOU would also love for them to happen, i hope you can get tickets soon and/or tell anyone/everyone in ohio that you know! thank you!

— Naples, FL on September 19
— Boca Raton, FL on September 20-21
— Wilton Manors, FL on September 22
— St Pete Beach, FL on September 22
these shows are in florida! are YOU in florida? then i hope you can make it tone (or five!) of these shows!

— Cambridge, MA on September 26
this is the triumphant return of the Comedy Studio, the club where i started more than 20 years ago. its existence has been on hiatus for the past little bit, but it’s returning and i’m returning and happily so! that link is for the early show.
here’s one for the late show!

— Paw Paw, MI on October 11
— Tecumseh, MI on October 12
— Holland, MI on October 13
these shows are in michigan! are you in michigan? come to these shows!
also, these shows are right after my birthday! want to celebrate my birthday with me? come to these shows! or any shows!

— Wilmington, DE on November 2
— Baltimore, MD on November 3
these are shows that the amazing EMO PHILIPS is headlining and i am grateful to be appearing as a special guest of an opening act. the shows will be me for about 20 minutes and then him for considerably longer! he is a legend and if you are in the area of these shows, i think you will enjoy them a lot. (if you’re not in the area, it will be harder for you to enjoy them. not impossible but harder!)

finally, please enjoy this artwork that my fantastic artist friend mckinley cox made out of some photos that the wonderful mindy tucker took PLUS a photo i took of the actual marquee at this venue when i first performed there in 2012 and the movies playing were “the hobbit,” “the perks of being a wallflower,” and “here comes the boom.”

thank you so much for being here.
i super appreciate all the support, always!
much love to you and yours and all!