pizza, trombones, life, and death
and maybe a few other things.
dear kind-hearted willing recipients of this weekly-ish fun,
i’m very grateful you’re here.
thank you for so being.
i’m glad you’re alive!
and as such, i hope you enjoy these jokes about tombstones.1
1) cold pizza:
did tombstone pizza2 call themselves tombstone pizza
JUST so they could ask
"what do you want on your tombstone?"3
2) a short/long scene about life/death4:
"ask me what the secret of comedy is"
"what is it?"5
*50 yrs pass*
*both die*
"timing" -- a tombstone
"commitment" -- another tombstone
3) a closing line:
"i'll leave you with this"
-- a standup comic's tombstone6
those are the sillies for today!
thank you for receiving.
now, for the sillies of tomorrow…
starting ONE WEEK FROM TODAY, july 14, i go out on tour for about three weeks, driving from NYC to KC and MSP and performing many places in between. are you somewhere in there? i’d love to see you at a live show!
the dates are all listed here and tickets are available for all the shows here.
ALSO, i’ve got a bunch of shows in NYC between now and when i leave, so if you’re in NYC and want to come to a show, feel free to respond to this and let me know if you’d like more information, because there are a lot of options!
you’re the best. yes, you. sincerely, very glad that you’re here. thank you.
PS this week, i released my 200th Broccoli and Ice Cream podcast episode, with my wonderful friend Liz Glazer. if you like listening to things, give it a listen! we have fun and you can, too.
PPS for a finale, finally, a final (for now) fun thing that happened:
i believe when we’re alive is the best and easiest time to enjoy jokes about tombstones. i’m open to the idea that we could also enjoy them when we’re not alive, but i have no direct experience to support this. yet!
a very strange name for a pizza company. pizza is warm. tombstones are usually less warm i think. but it seems to be working for them! what do i know! i’m not a pizza marketing guy. though i guess with this post, i kind of am. more of one than i’ve ever been before. EAT VEGAN PIZZA EVERYONE! THERE’S GREAT VEGAN PIZZA NOW! VEGAN PIZZA TECHNOLOGY IMPROVES ALL THE TIME! LISTEN TO MY YELLING! good, now i’m a vegan pizza marketing guy. as desired.
an exciting weird thing happened after i shared this on twitter originally. i have included a screenshot of the occurrence at the bottom of the message proper, just above these here footnotes.
this could be the heading for a lot of my content, i think. what else is there besides life/death? if anyone has answers, feel free to let me know!
do you know this classic joke? i hope so!
silly things that could be fun to notice:
A) if you get high in a graveyard, you could be a “tombstoner.”
B) if “trombone” were an adjective, then someone’s the “trombonest”!
C) those words are made up of the same letters, if i’m honest.
D) those words were made up BY ME, stone-cold sober!
E) i’m almost a poem-er. for now, silliness over.