dear friends,
to begin, i’m glad that you are here.
in the middle part of the beginning, i thank you!
and now, the beginning is just about over. time for the middle!
A) first middle item:
i grew up middle class, you know, born with a bronze spork in my mouth. 1
B) midde middle item:
"what do you do?"
"i teach middle school history"
"wow, cool. when was the first middle school created?"
"i hate you" 2
C) final middle item:
saying that you’re “middle-aged” is optimistic. 3
and that’s all the middle we have for you today!
finally, please enjoy this poster that my wonderful artist friend mckinley cox made out of a photo that my wonderful photographer friend mindy tucker took, alongside my wonderful comedian friend liz glazer, with whom i’ll be performing at MCGARVEY’S BAR AND GRILL in altoona, pa on 3/12/22!
thanks for being here, there, and everywhere!
the richest people of course grow up with a platinum implement that i can’t even imagine in their mouths.
please know that at no time during the imagining of this conversation was any real hate felt in anyone’s heart
let’s all start saying we’re Beginning-aged!