to june it may concern,1
can you believe that 2021 is just about half over?2
everyone getting ready to make their mid-year resolutions?3
well, i’m glad you resolved to receive these messages.4
thank you and (you’re) welcome!
here are today’s funs, followed by a reminder5 that tonight (june 24) i’m headlining an online show that you can attend, plus other reminders!
1) a birthday wish:
thinking about inventing an app called “Everyone’s Birthday”
so no one has to use Facebook anymore6
2) an epiphany:
oh man i just realized
i’ve been dancing for the job i want
and dressing like no one’s watching7
3) a belated celebration:
glad that news about Juneteenth
is finally reaching white people.8
4) a realization:
wearing a sports jersey
with the number of your favorite athlete
is low-key cosplay9
pretty fun funs, eh?
and now, you’ve made it to the reminders you’ve all been waiting for!
1) TONIGHT! i headline an online show at the Nowhere Comedy Club.
2) THIS WEEKEND! i headline 4 shows at the Arlington Drafthouse in VA.
3) NEXT WEEKEND! i headline a live, all-vaccinated show at Union Hall in BK.
4) THE FUTURE! many places july, august, and beyond. info at myqkaplan.com
AND ALSO info is available in THIS BEAUTIFUL PHOTO taken by MINDY TUCKER and informationized by MY WONDERFUL AND MORE-SKILLED-AT-GRAPHIC-DESIGN-THAN-I-AM GIRLFRIEND RINI!
thank you again and still and always for being here, there, wherever you are.
i truly appreciate it!
sounds fun, right?
if you can, feel free to skip ahead.
you’re allowed to, if you want! you can make a resolution any day!
i am grateful to you and for you. ALL SINCERITY IN THIS FOOTNOTE HERE!
and sneakily also preceded by such a reminder as well. it’s like a fun sandwich on reminder bread.
happy birthday, everyone! (please apply whenever appropriate.)
when i originally conceived of this joke, it was all absurdity. “dress like no one’s watching”? and then someone responded with a comment “who’s watching you get dressed?” and my wonderful girlfriend rini pointed out that they had made a funny reframing, and shared her interpretation of it having been referencing the pandemic and how we were all wearing our comfies all the time, dressing as in what we were wearing, wearing whatever we are comfortable wearing if no one is going to see us. and i was like, oh that’s even better, and also we got into a little back-and-forth over how other people might have been interpreting it, ending with her saying to me “I’m sorry your joke made more sense than you originally intended.” which i think is a beautiful, hilarious ending to this story. PS bonus ending #1: rini also pointed out that the differing interpretations that she and i initially had of the joke’s meaning were similar to how different people saw that gold/blue dress. and the various interpretations of this joke hinge on the meaning of the word DRESS. THE DRESS SAGA CONTINUES! PPS bonus ending #2: i just looked up to confirm that the definition of “redress” is “remedy or set right.” the endings keep coming!
it seems appropriate that this joke is arriving in your inbox some time after Juneteenth.
a fun (?) thing you could (!) do, if you’re tired of cosplay, is lie down, stretch your limbs, and say that you’re "‘splayed out.”