The Simpsons, Ursula K. Le Guin, Comedian Brett Druck, Science, and MORE!

Lessons that I wouldn't trade for anything! Especially because I CAN'T, but even if I could!

Feb 27, 2025

Dear friends,

Thank you for being here!
I’m grateful that you are you and you are here.
And now, the latest entry in my project wherein I examine a joke I love that has stayed with me, sometimes for decades, because of the heights and depths that it brings my heart and mind to upon continued reflection.

The project began with a piece about a Mitch Hedberg joke, and today’s gem comes from a Simpsons episode (Mountain of Madness, Season 8, Episode 12, written by the incredible John Swartzelder) where non-billionaire Homer is chatting with yes-billionaire Mr. Burns:

HOMER: "Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny!"
MR. BURNS: "Yes, but I'd trade it all for a little more."

That line from Mr. Burns gets me so much.
It’s so sadly RELATABLE.
I mean, I'll speak for myself.
I don't have EVERYTHING.
I am not a billionaire, but I am grateful that I've been able to make my living as a comedian since 2008ish.
And the thing about making money is, for most of us, eventually you spend it.
You don't make it to keep it.
So it seems like we always might need a little more.

Now, if you’ll indulge me along this winding path through literature, science, comedy, and a little more…

I love Ursula K. Le Guin.
In her book "Always Coming Home," she describes a society in which the concept of wealth is different from ours.
In our society, the wealthy are the people who HAVE the most.
In their society, the wealthy are the people who GIVE the most.

If someone has a lot of money and belongings in their society, the other people feel sorry for them, because maybe they don't have loved ones to share it with, because they don't get the joy of giving and providing and communing with others in this way.

And if someone in that society has almost nothing, people are like WOW, what a wealthy person they must be to have given away so much. It's like a literal representation of "it's better to give than to receive."

A friend of mine, the very funny and very kind comedian Brett Druck, told me something along those lines once as well. He said this:

"I find that when I help somebody else and when I help myself I feel equally as good, but when I help somebody else the satisfaction lasts longer."

And science agrees!
From a paper entitled “Does Spending Money on Others Promote Happiness?”

"Research indicates that spending money on others—prosocial spending—leads to greater happiness than spending money on oneself."

And from a Scientific American article entitled “Societies with Little Money Are among the Happiest on Earth”:

”Our main finding indicates that despite having just a few dollars per day, many of these people are very happy, in their own estimation.”

It's like the greatest trick the capitalism ever pulled, convincing the world (or our society at least) that GETTING and HAVING are the things that will make us feel better. That MORE is the answer.

Going back even farther, there's an Aesop's fable I read as a child called The Miser and His Gold, where a miser had some gold (they really nailed the title of the story) that he kept buried in his backyard. He never spent it.

He lived frugally and every night he went and dug up the gold and looked at it, thinking "ah good my money, I'm rich!" and then he would bury it again.
This continued until a thief noticed him doing that and eventually stole the gold and the miser was so sad. He had no more gold to hoard and look at!

When he expressed that sadness to someone, they were like "I've got the perfect solution for you!" and they put a big rock the same size as the gold that had been in his backyard hole, pointing out that for all he was doing with the gold, it might as well have been a rock.

Leaping back ahead to modern times, I read a book this year called “The Way of Integrity” by Martha Beck and I really loved it. In it, she tells a story about a client of hers who kept trying to make more money because he thought more money would lead to more happiness. (He had never heard the Biggie song, I guess.)

There was a moment she shared where the man had done some business deal that made him $200 million dollars, and minutes later he was miserable again. She tried to remind the man that he had once been broke on a hiking trip when he was younger and that it had been, by his own account, the happiest he had ever been.

She basically said to him "you were happiest with no money and miserable with lots of money, so is it possible that MORE isn't the answer?" and he was like *blink blink, blink blink* and did not seem to understand.

(Because how much money you have ALSO doesn't correlate to how intelligent or logical or emotionally aware or self-reflective you are.)

Now, imagine if Mr. Burns were real.
A billionaire who wants more.
The richest man who isn't satisfied, who doesn't seem grateful for all that he has, for all that he can do, for all that he can offer to others, for the wealth that he could share with so many and not run out for lifetimes (surprise, Ursula K. Le Guin’s fictional society’s concept of GIVING being the true wealth is REAL, because science!).
I mean, I know Mr. Burns is fictional, but can you just IMAGINE someone being like that in real life?

The point is, money is weird and everything we think is backwards and The Simpsons is funny and they get it.
Ironically, John Swartzwelder who wrote that episode probably gets a lot of money in royalties for it.
I hope he’s sharing it (FOR HIS OWN BENEFIT).

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And now, because I also like sharing MY jokes, here are a few of those, all having something to do with the concept of (or at least the word) “MORE”:

A) is for Afraid:

afraid of ghosts?
i’m actually MORE afraid
of people who are alive.

B) is for Body:

a fun way to refer to the body
could be
”a torso and MORE so”

C) is for a Concept i prefer:

i love the song “killing me softly”
but in real life, i MORE prefer the concept of
“allowing me to live loudly”

Share Arty Har-Hars

But wait, there’s MORE! From YOU! Questions I have! Feel free to comment or email your answers! Or just think about them! Or don’t! Lots of options!

1) How are you doing? What’s new and good? How are you feeling?
2) Any favorite Simpsons jokes?
3) Do you have a favorite Aesop’s fable?
4) Have you enjoyed Le Guin or Beck and if so, who else do you like?
5) How are you doing NOW?

Arty Har-Hars

The Simpsons, Ursula K. Le Guin, Comedian Brett Druck, Science, and MORE!

Lessons that I wouldn't trade for anything! Especially because I CAN'T, but even if I could!

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