the solar system, sports teams, and comedians
some jokes about these topics, which is really all covered by "the solar system" because all the comics and sports teams i know are part of the solar system. but here we are! (in the solar system!)
dear friends, family, fans, fellow solar system inhabitants, AND ANYONE OUTSIDE OF THIS SOLAR SYSTEM AS WELL (ALL ARE WELCOME HERE),
i am grateful that you are here.
thank you for your time and presence. you are nice.
and now, for today’s silly funs.
A) one for the sunny:
our solar system has a one-star rating. 1
B) two for the DOH:
comedians are loners who hang out with lots of people all the time. 2
C) three to get meta:
"my favorite sports teams are the Metropolitans, the Netropolitans, and the Jetropolitans" -- guy who just learned what Mets is short for 3
D) and four to WHOA:
whoa is me.
and that’s all the funs for right now!
for some FUTURE funs, please enjoy this list of standup shows i’ll be doing soon:
— TONIGHT!: i’m on Liz Glazer’s album recording shows (late show tix available!)
— TOMORROW in BASALT, CO: i headline this show at TACAW!
— SAT, 11/12 in DENVER: i’m on a few shows at the Denver Comedy Lounge!
— SUN, 11/13 in BOULDER: i’m back at the Boulder Comedy Show!
— SAT, 11/19 in TARRYTOWN, NY: i open for Gary Gulman
— SAT, 11/26 in MAMARONECK, NY: The Ivy League of Comedy
— FRI-SAT, 12/2-3 in BURLINGTON, VT: i headline the Vermont Comedy Club!
— WED-SAT, 12/14-17 in NH AND BOSTON: various links coming soon!
— THURS-SAT, 1/12-1/14 in KC: i headline the Comedy Club of Kansas City!
thank you all for being here and everything.
much love to you and yours and all!
and finally, please feel free to enjoy a photo i took of a buddhist vending machine:
PS secret final bonus: Substack just added a new feature wherein you can tag other Substackers in this way, so here are a few other Substackers that i like a lot, that you can check out if you wish! maybe in the future i’ll say more about them, but for now, just know that these are some of the folks i love reading!
be well. take care. how are you? much love!
once, i wrote a Yelp review of The Universe, in which i gave it five stars (the highest number of stars possible, which is how many stars the universe has, i think). i believe the review has been taken down now, but here’s what i wrote:
Best universe I've ever been a part of*.
It DID take a long time for me to find my purpose.**
At first, I was like "who's in charge here?"*** but it helped once I realized a lot of it was self-serve.
If you're alive (or otherwise), I would definitely recommend checking out this universe****.
Thanks for reading!*****
* results my vary, void in certain black holes
** my purpose = writing Yelp reviews of the universe
*** actually at first, I was like "waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh"
**** unless you don't want to; I'm not your universe-boss.
***** see? five stars!
“loners,” not so far from “lovers”
all betropolitans are off!
thank you, myq!! you are actually the very best.
Thanks for the shout-out, Myq!