Yoda, the Dalai Lama, Marc Maron, and the TV show "Justified"

What do they all have in common? Let's find out!

Mar 28, 2025

Dear friends,

Thank you for being here! I’m grateful for you!
And now, the latest entry in my project wherein I examine a piece of comedy that I love that’s stayed with me ever since I heard it.

The project began with a piece about a Mitch Hedberg joke, and today’s piece features a line I love from the TV show “Justified”:

“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.”

―Raylan Givens on the show "Justified"

I think about this a LOT, probably because I used to meet assholes all day.
Or at least more frequently than I do now.

Projection!

I once read about a study that suggested that teenagers might have difficulty differentiating an angry face from a fearful face, which means that everyone in high school could be walking around in fear, afraid because everyone else looks angry to them, when in actuality they look that way because they're ALSO afraid for the same reason. As Yoda once said, "fear leads to anger." And as I now say, “maybe it’s just that fear LOOKS like anger and we’re all basically teenagers.” Yoda’s is catchier.

I remember a story the comedian Marc Maron told once about a show where one audience member wasn't laughing, just sitting right in the front row stone-faced. In my recollection, Marc interpreted this as hatred. The guy hated Marc and he was hating the show, even though everyone else in the room was laughing, loving the show. So he focused on that one guy, obsessing about that hatred. And after the show, that stone-faced guy came up to Marc and said something like "hey, I really loved the show!" in a very cheerful way, and Marc was like "oh no, the guy who hated me was IN MY HEAD."

When things are in our head, they seem real. They are real. Our heads are real! But sometimes the things in there seem like real things that exist OUTSIDE our heads, but there's no way for us to know how much is coming from the outside and how much is coming from the inside. Like, if you can't see anything, is it because it's nighttime and it's dark out, or because your eyes are closed? Or both? That's usually an easy one, but they can get trickier.

I have a joke I'm working on about projection, about how if we think someone's a jerk and we call them a jerk, then maybe we're the jerk, or a jerk also at least. Part jerk. And sometimes it can feel important to call a jerk a jerk when we see someone being a jerk.

Similarly, if you have a child and they run out into the street, it can be important to grab them, to stop them from getting hurt. And hopefully you don't hurt them when you grab them, but that potential small grabbing hurt might be a small price to pay to prevent them from getting big run-over-by-car hurt. Like when vaccines used to be made of a small part of the disease they were helping to prevent. A little bit of calling someone a jerk might be justified when someone's being a big jerk.

Quick aside: I can't imagine the Dalai Lama calling someone a jerk. Maybe we just haven't hung out enough. But I feel like if someone bumps into the Dalai Lama and doesn't apologize, or steps on his foot, or says something unkind, or is rude in another way, the Dalai Lama would respond more understandingly, more empathetically. He might think about what the person is going through, or what may have happened earlier in their day or their life or their other lives to bring them to this place right here right now. I mean, I'm not the Dalai Lama so I don't know. Maybe he would call the guy a jerk!

But I don't think the Dalai Lama meets assholes all day. And not because he's lucky. Because he's practicing meeting people in a different way. The Dalai Lama has said "I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives me a genuine feeling of happiness."

Imagine running into an old friend who you hadn't seen in a while and they stepped on your foot. I imagine you probably might be more forgiving and understanding than if it was someone who you didn't consider an old friend.

It's been said that “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

I like to add that "Being forgiving and seeing everyone as an old friend is like taking vitamins and expecting the other person's health to improve."

And in that spirit, I've tweaked the initial quote we're talking about here as well...

“If you run into a kind human being who's doing their best in the morning, you ran into a kind human being who's doing their best. If you run into kind human beings who are doing their best all day, YOU'RE the kind human being who's doing their best. And also probably they are as well. And everyone's health actually does improve because of those magical forgiveness vitamins you're taking.”
―Raylan Givens if he were also the Dalai Lama maybe

Not as catchy. Won't fit as well needlepointed on a pillow. I’ll ask Yoda to try and edit it. (Editor’s note: just heard back from Yoda. He said “Edit or edit not; there is no try.” So I went with “Edit not.”) I know, the original was pithier and easier to remember, infinitely more quotable. Sorry if messing with it makes me an asshole, and I thank you for understanding, old friends.

Share Arty Har-Hars

Thanks for receiving! And now, because I like sharing jokes I’ve written, here are some jokes I’ve written!

A) is for Age (comma, new):

a new age jerk
is
a holistic a-hole

B) is for all of Being:

sometimes the universe might seem like an a-hole.
but remember, that could just be because
the universe is a whole!

C) is for Comedy:

there are some comedians who say things like
”you can’t say ANYTHING these days!”
and what i think that means is
”i can’t even be an asshole anymore, without people saying i’m an asshole”

And that’s about it for me! What about for YOU!
Here are some questions that you can answer if you wish!
Feel free to comment or email back or just think about them real hard!

1) How are you doing? How is your heart? What is new and good?
2) Have you had any meaningful experiences with projection?
3) Are you more a Yoda person or a Dalai Lama person? Or are they same?
4) How great is the TV show “Justified”?
5) How are you doing NOW?

Arty Har-Hars

Yoda, the Dalai Lama, Marc Maron, and the TV show "Justified"

What do they all have in common? Let's find out!

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