Advice from Mitch Hedberg, the Dear Prudence podcast, and my therapist friend

Look within! (Within yourself AND within this newsletter!)

Dear friends,

I am grateful that you are here!
Thank you for making this choice to click and read!
And now, another entry in my project wherein I share jokes that I love and think about frequently, so much that I start to explore whether there might be more to the joke than just its surface delight. (Spoiler alert: the answer is usually “yes, there is more than just its surface delight.)

The project began with a piece about one Mitch Hedberg joke, where I assessed Hedberg thusly:

”His jokes are songs, infinitely relistenable. Whereas so much comedy requires surprise to have its desired effect, Hedberg's has somehow transcended that.”

I now revisit another of his eternal classics. I hope you enjoy!

"You should never tell people they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun."
— Mitch Hedberg

Great advice, Mitch!

I love the genre of advice-giving.
I really enjoy reading advice columns.
I listen to a number of advice podcasts.

I believe it was on the Dear Prudence podcast where I first heard this advice:

"Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides."

That is advice that's great for if you're scrolling through someone's social media feed and you see other people experiencing all these seemingly great things:

lots of smiles,
beautiful vacations,
stellar accomplishments,
basically a highlight reel of their life.

Because that's what they are choosing to share.
They're not sharing all the difficulties that arise in between those photos.
They’re not sharing their mental state while those photos are being taken.

Maybe they spent an hour getting their poses perfect, in hopes of making you have the jealous reaction that you're having. So don't do it!

Don't compare your insides to their outsides.

We only know what's going on inside us.
We only know what's going on on the OUTSIDE of them.
Of anyone else.

I have a friend who's a therapist, and he shared a similarly helpful thought with me once, framed like this:

For others, we see airplanes.
Only for us, do we see what's going on in the cockpit.

And everyone has a cockpit. Is a cockpit.
Everyone has all these different levers and buttons and lights flashing with emergencies sometimes and flight delays because of necessary de-icing and who knows what else happens, I'm not a pilot.

But we don't see what goes on inside anyone else.
I mean, we can ask, and they can share, and we can listen and trust and believe and understand as much as possible based on what they tell us and what they show us, but we'll never know.

Maybe someone has deep-seated insecurities that they never share with us.
Maybe when they’re smiling on the outside, there’s something else beneath.
Maybe they are really self-conscious about their dimple, whether or not it was the result of getting shot in the face by a BB gun.

What I'm saying is, Mitch Hedberg is both a hilarious comedian (the joke is funny!) and a wise sage (the advice is great!).

At least, that's how his airplane looks from my cockpit.

And now, because I also like sharing jokes of my own, I advice myself to share some jokes of my own, and I’m taking my advice!

A) is for A joke about Advice:

”don’t be a baby”
is good advice
unless you’re talking to a baby
(or an adult)

B) is for something Better:

they say that
it is better to give than to receive
which is definitely how i feel about advice.

C) is for one more piece of Comedy about advice:

my advice to everyone:
keep doing what you’re doing OR change it up
(cover all bases or cover none or cover some number in between)

And that’s about it from me. Now how about from YOU!
Here are some questions that you can answer in the comments or by replying with an email or shouting them from a roof or whispering them to a bird or whatever you choose! I advise you to take your own advice on the matter!

1) How are you doing? What is new and good? How is your heart?
2) Is there any advice that you’ve received that you think is great?
3) Do you have any favorite advice columns/podcasts?
4) Anything you’re looking for advice on?
5) How are you doing NOW?

And that’s about it for right now! But what about LATER?
Here are some upcoming shows I’ve got scheduled, including one that was recently added in Kansas City TONIGHT!
(And Philadelphia and Delaware LATER!)

— Kansas City, MO: KC Improv Co (TONIGHT! FRIDAY, MAY 16!)
— Minneapolis, MN: Acme Comedy Company (Wed-Sat, May 21-24)
— Bennington, VT: Bennington Theater (Saturday, June 7)
— Portsmouth, NH: The Music Hall (Thursday, June 12)
— Cambridge, MA: The Comedy Studio (2 Shows, Saturday, June 14)
— McKinney, TX: The Comedy Arena (Fri-Sat, July 18-19)
— Houston, TX: The Secret Group (Sunday, July 20)
— Austin, TX: Cap City Comedy Club (Wed-Thurs, July 23-July 24)
— Tyler, TX: Rose City Comedy (Fri-Sat, July 25-26)
— Philadelphia, PA: Next In Line (Friday, September 5)
— Wilmington, DE: Arden Gild Hall (Saturday, October 18)
— more dates to come at punchup.live/myqkaplan and myqkaplan.com/tour

(Photo by Fabrice Trombert! Poster design by my wonderful partner Rini!)

And that’s all for today!
Thank you so much for receiving!
Much love to you and yours and all!