Mitch Hedberg, the Buddhist Teacher Suzuki Roshi, and a Perpetual Emotion Machine

In which I analyze and celebrate a joke about a banana and the impermanence of all things.

Jan 23, 2025

Dear friends,

Thank you for being here.
I’m grateful for you and your presence.
And now, here is the latest entry in my new project wherein I examine a joke I love that ends up being more profound than its surface appearance would have initially suggested.

The project began with a piece about one Mitch Hedberg joke, where I assessed Hedberg thusly:

”His jokes are songs, infinitely relistenable. Whereas so much comedy requires surprise to have its desired effect, Hedberg's has somehow transcended that.”

I now revisit another of his classics. I hope you enjoy!

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It was love at first joke.

The year was 1999ish.

My friend Sam asked me if I had ever heard of Mitch Hedberg and I had not.
He then shared this joke of Hedberg's with me:

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana.
I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

I laughed so much.
And I still do.
It still makes me laugh, about 25 years after the first time I heard it.

It feels like the best kind of marriage.

For context, I got married when I was 25 and divorced when I was 28.
Since it's my only official marriage, it's technically my best one.
In the letter of the law, but in spirit?

The relationship I'm in now is of a completely different order.
It is the best marriage in spirit.
My life with Rini began in 2016 (when I was 37) and it will never end.
(We don't plan to die.)

After my (first, technical, official) marriage ended, and before I met Rini, I could not imagine wanting to spend my entire life with one romantic partner. Or, I could imagine it (I have a very good imagination), but I could not understand how the practical mechanisms of it would work.
(“The practical mechanisms of it”? I am a romantic).

But since meeting Rini almost 9 years ago, I have learned.
I understand now.
Now, an entire life hardly seems enough (which is why we don't plan to die).

Every day, there are new reasons, plus all of the old reasons.
Every day, there are new stories, plus all of the old stories.
Every day, there are new jokes, plus all of the old jokes.

Our love grows all the time, and also the love is and always has been infinite.
It's like a paradox that reminds me of something that the Buddhist teacher Suzuki Roshi has said that I love:

"Each of you is perfect the way you are ... and you can use a little improvement."

Our love is perfect. AND it improves every day. Every moment.

And what I'm saying is, while the scope and context might be a little different, I feel very similarly about Mitch Hedberg and that beautiful banana joke.

For such a short joke, there are so many levels to it.

First, a friend offers a frozen banana.
Out the gate, a surprising setup!
Usually jokes don't get surprising until the punchline.
But boom, extra surprise here!
Like an M Night Shyamalan twist BEGINNING!

Then Mitch says no.
He doesn't want a frozen banana.
Reasonable.
Who does?
Maybe a person making a smoothie, but that's about it.

And then immediately, the twist.
He wants a regular banana later.
So he says yes.
Moments after he had said no!

He doesn't want it for reasons that make sense but then he DOES want it for reasons that also make sense.

It's beautiful.
It's like a zen koan.
It's about the ever-presence of change.
It's about the Buddhist concept of impermanence.
It's about recognizing that what is true now is different from what will be true later.

And it happens so quickly.
So quickly, the no becomes a yes.
So quickly, a rejection becomes an acceptance.
So quickly, separation becomes communion. Togetherness.

Was Mitch thinking of all of this when he wrote that joke last millennium?
Was he thinking about Buddhism, about the wisdom of Suzuki Roshi?
Was he thinking about my relationship with Rini which hadn't begun yet?
Was he thinking about M Night Shyamalan, whose first major movie, "The Sixth Sense," came out in 1999, the very same year that Mitch's first album, "Strategic Grill Locations," came out, the very album that houses this beautiful banana joke?

Maybe? (He was very smart!)

Now, comedy is usually very context-dependent.

Sometimes a joke can get stale after a certain amount of time.
Sometimes a joke can grow old and harden.
Sometimes a joke can start hot and fluid, and eventually grow cold and frozen.
(Like, for example, a frozen… something?)

This is ESPECIALLY true if you’ve already heard the joke once, let alone numerous times.

But not this frozen banana joke.

This joke is hot.
Constantly on the move and ALIVE.
I'm told there's no such thing as a perpetual motion machine, but this joke comes closest in all the world to being a perpetual EMOTION machine (and the emotion is JOY).

I fell in love with this joke and with Mitch a quarter of a century ago.
I love them still now.
More and better.
Richer and more deeply.
Perfect from the start and improving all the time.

I love that a love like this can and does exist.
For a joke. For an artist. For anything/anyone.
For us all.

Also, it's funny that he calls a non-frozen banana a "regular banana."
He's a delightful genius forever.

And now, because I also like to share a few quick jokes of my own here, here are a few quick jokes of my own here:

A) is for A banana:

now that cell phones are less banana shaped than phone were originally, do people have less fun putting a banana to their ear and acting like its a phone? i hope not!

B) is for a whole Bunch of Bananas

sometimes i like putting a whole bunch of bananas to my ear and saying “CONFERENCE CALL!”

C) is for Come on, you have to have one more joke about bananas!:

gwen stefani has a song where she sang "B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" spelling out the word most likely because there were children around who love bananas and she didn't want them to get too excited. or maybe it was english-speaking monkeys and not children. ooh or maybe child monkeys. monkey children? probably that.

Now is the time I like to ask YOU questions!

1) How are you doing? How is your heart? What is new and good with you?
2) Do you have any favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes or Suzuki Roshi quotes?
3) Do you have any favorite other jokes or quotes or bananas?
4) Any ideas of jokes with hidden profoundness I might address in the future?
5) How are you doing NOW?

Feel free to respond in the comments below OR just reply to this email if you’re reading it as an email!

Arty Har-Hars

Mitch Hedberg, the Buddhist Teacher Suzuki Roshi, and a Perpetual Emotion Machine

In which I analyze and celebrate a joke about a banana and the impermanence of all things.

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