Sitemap - 2023 - Arty Har-Hars

if you have FOMO, you are missing out on not having fear. (and other thoughts about fear)

‪“dinner is at 4pm. i don’t like it being so late, but i’ll take a nap.” -- my grandmother regarding thanksgiving one year. plus other funs!

submarines, subjectivity, and subatomic particles

"I either love you or not" and other things my grandmother has said, plus the context in which she's said them, PLUS jokes and more!

where does the time go? right here.

infinite love-wolves (and other wolf-related jokes)

oats, boats, and goats

the beginning, middle, and end of a great (very) short story about my grandmother

puppies, autumn, and a beautiful interaction with my grandma iris

a halloween miracle from the iris archives

a note of gratitude to and for my girlfriend

M.O.M. (Music, Oh Music)

typo theatre with my grandmother!

dogs in a box (a post full of jokes and thoughts about boxes)

my grandmother, a town in new jersey, and a half human half goat god type thing

Crossword Crossover!

how to be more funny (advice that you can read even if you DON'T want to be more funny, so you know what to avoid!)

batman, billy joel, and my birthday is tomorrow!

happy belated first of the month!

my birthday and floodwaters approach! the truth and also jokes!

the three silly jokes gruff

the (jo)king of Queens!

a very short story from the iris archives about internet trolls

foo fight!

jokes about the passing of time to help pass the time (happy jewish new year, everyone who is happy about the jewish new year!)


sisyphus, queen elizabeth, and charlie brown

somethings silly for Substack

can't spell "switcheroo" without "hero"!

if anyone sees why these jokes about weddings should not be made, speak now or forever hold your peace

sometimes it sleeps up on you

FORWARDS isn't four words

perhaps we can grant one another's wishes... a genie-us idea?

a man, a plan, a canal, palindrome!

consoliDating jokes


three short fun stories about my grandma iris

when in Room...

talk talk talk

the quietest bachelorette party and other short stories


some yUK-yUKs

animal haikus / that is what you'll find in this / substack newsletter

i might like to be transformed in this way

one jersey, two jersey, old jersey, new jersey

i type "potato," you type "potato," there's no conflict here!

maybe wisdom is ALSO bliss, i don't know!

hot jokes! get your hot jokes about temperature here!

on hearts and brains and arts and trains (additional jokes and thoughts celebrating my new book "heart brain art train")

unicorning around (like horsing around, but more magical)

this is not an assignment. you are in charge. (advice i offer to someone who asked for it)

rini and i celebrate 7 years together today! (pretty impressive, that we could fit 7 years together into one day!)

from the iris archives: my grandmother on health care

happy birthweek to my mom!

Heart Brain Art Train (new book of my jokes illustrated by the wonderful Ramin Nazer is available NOW)

happy dad joke day!

an apocalypse a day ALSO keeps the doctor away

advice for a younger comedian from an older comedian but also anyone can read this regardless of age and comedian-ness


table: this discussion

a younger comedian asks for advice and an older comedian offers it, on the subject of writing standup compared to jokes for social media

a duet with my grandmother

yoga jokes for all the folks!


Show Me The Movie!

do me a solid/liquid/gas

big and small and baseball

a batch of scratch, catch, and cumberbatch

Live from the Universe! (A New Comedy Special Available Today! Plus Jokes and Other Fun!)

doom and gloom and spelling and more!

today, my work involves sharing my thoughts about butlers and time travel

my grandma is the soul of wit

old mcdonald had a bot farm, AI-AI-O

years truly

Son of a Bob!

when i wish upon a you

memorable quotes from jesus and my grandma

dance, dance, evolution!

three short jokes, one for each of your eyes that is open

meryl streep, glenn close, and my grandma iris (a tale from the iris archives!)

jokes & notes to float your hope boat!

jokes about philosophy, wisdom, and more

"a good book is better than drugs" -- my grandma iris

dog day laughternoon!

texting texting, one two three

super here, oh?

april fuel! (a story from the iris archives about my grandmother's final april fool's day prank on me)

the inside scoop

hey, body body body!

an offering of love to a friend and to you who are also a friend

underwear, thunderdome, and fundercats!

jokes and thoughts about robots, plants, grief, time, love, boomerangs, and more!

the wolf who cried boy oh boy

a high-powered story!

i love my grandma iris and today is the anniversary of her death and i love you and thank you and hope you and your irises live as forever as possible and desirable

book book goose!

3 little quick funs about rabbits who are 1) little, 2) quick, and 3) fun



handle with car

laughter, one of the better medicines

a tête-à-tête on tea for two between me and i ("i" is a nickname for my grandma iris)

three VERY silly jokes about star wars, flash gordon, and superman

happy mitch hedbergthday!

who's weirder, the beatles or me?

what kept my grandma's brain alive and healthy (an iris archives dispatch from this day in the past)

go-go dancers, hot pursuit, and calming down

stranger things (things about strangers)

Afraid of death? Then are you opposite of the other thing?

a Pre-Valentine Sonnet for the Single

goats and giraffes and frogs, oh my!

monsters, scientists, and reality television (three jokes in advance of valentine's day)

whether to toe the (mascu)line

1000 words

the Oddfather (Part 1?)

how does someone decide whether to leave a standard academic career to pursue standup?

didactic screaming, mind[less/ful]ness, and well-reasoned arguments

some fan-fun, some fanfare, some fun fare!

playing the Anger Brain Card (or, now i know my OTHER ABCs)

Standup Commentary

look who's talk-king!

jokes for your eyes, ears, and mouth! and wherever else you receive jokes!

As Soon As Impossible (A Folk Tale About My Life)

nirvana, house of pain, and nelly walk into a bar

magic words... MAGICwards!

this is what i call "reinventing the We'll."